First, you should have provided us the topic of this essay. The one that appears on the top does not reveal much information about what it expects from you. Is this an agree/ disagree essay? Also, are you preparing for IELTS or TOEFL? You need to tell all these information to us, if you intend to get meaningful feedbacks for your post.
One can not denythat the young people's role about issues such as environment, poverty, in addition animal welfare than previous generations in today's increasingly progressing world.
This sentence has many grammar issues. Also, it is not clear at all to the reader. Avoid writing such long sentences. Write short sentences and have one separate sentence for each idea. That way you can improve your grammar, clarity and presentation too.
It is difficult to fix the grammar in the above sentence since there are so many. Re-do it and post it!