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How to write an argumentative essay about the advantages of recycling water?


arquimedesamaya 1 / -  
Aug 6, 2010   #1
Hello, everybody!

I'm preparing for the IELTS, my first choice will take place next September the 16th, and I need to work a lot on writing, special the task 2.

I would like to start a postgraduate course in Robert Gordon University, and I need to reach a 6.5 in IELTS the Academic one of course.

Well, this is my first example, I really appreciate your suggestions and corrections.

Regards,

Arquimedes Amaya

Now the task 2

Notes:
1.- I didn't write the first three paragraphs, because it was given for the teacher.
2.- In this case the idea was, just to write three sentences that supports the advantages of using "Recycling water"

Task 2

Water is definitely an invaluable resource. Without it, we cannot survive. Today many governments recognise that they need to limit the water that their citizens use. Some also attempt to recycle water. Both approaches to water conservation are necessary and should be promoted, though I feel the first is generally more successful.

In countries which water seems to be readily available, people may, at first, be reluctant to reduce their water consumption. So initially, governments need to make their citizens aware of the consequences of using too much of this valuable resource. Once people realise that water supplies are limited and that they have a responsibility for conserving water, this task will be easier.

It must be remembered that people use water for many different purposes, which range from running domestic appliances such as washing machines to large-scale agricultural projects that need large quantities of water for irrigation. In their efforts to reduce water use, governments need to target all these different types of water consumption. This will often involve creating special laws.

The car wash usually waste much of the water, because most of the water that flow to the sewage system is still clean. Therefore these places have to have filter system that allow the recycling of water and only the real dirty water goes to the sewage system. In this way a large proportion of the water can be used more than once.

Use soiled water for garden is another good example of recycling water. In this case the idea is to reuse the water that was previously used for wash the clothes. Instead of throw this water to the sewage system, throw it to the gardens.

On the other hands we can collect a lot of water that come from the rain.

In countries like for instance Venezuela , where rains very often, is advisable to built systems that allow to collect the water from the rain and store it in cisterns. This stored water can be used it for different domestic purposes, like for example toilet flushing and replenishing a ground water basin.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Aug 8, 2010   #2
Water is definitely an invaluable resource. Without it, we cannot survive.

This part is boring and too obvious. Can you think of a clever way to start the essay? Something more meaningful and distinct.

Now we need to strengthen the argument. You wrote, "Once people realise that water supplies are limited and that they have a responsibility to conserve water, this task will be easier. (After this statement, I think you should write a paragraph about the consequences of using too much water and the benefits of conserving.)

The rest of the essay is very well written, but it is not arguing. It is giving an overview. Think of a specific argument you want to make, like "Why people should try to conserve water," and stick to the argument. If that is your argument, you should not write about methods for conserving water. Only argue about the importance of conserving water. Actually, though, you can keep the part about the methods for conserving water, but use them to show how easy it is to conserve water. Pretend you are arguing with someone who thinks it is not important to conserve water.


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