The issue of whether students should enroll in vocational courses instead of universities or not has been heated constantly. Although there remains some valid arguments to the contrary, well-qualified workers appear to have better opportunities than university graduates in the fierce labour market these days.
On one hand, after getting their highschool diplomas, students usually desire to pursue higher education level while recklessly disregarding vocational schools. The explanation for this prominent trend is that students seem to be inculcated the idea of getting more decent and higher-paying jobs with an university degree. In addition, the number of universities has been rocketing over the past decade in an attempt of universalizing tertiary education. As a consequence, students are more likely to have a wide selection of colleges and universities that match their needs and abilities.
On the other hand, taking vocational training can bring about certain advantages.
It is an indisputable fact that students who enroll in vocational courses appear to accrue a host of practical experiences, therefore, easily to get along with and perform efficiently in their future working environment. Also, vocational schools play an important role in supplying a large quantity of competent workers to meet the demand of the society.
In conclusion, although tertiary education seems to be a satisfatory choice for a number of students, it is undeniable that vocational courses are more likely to satisfy other students. Such courses might be a more plausible alternative as long as they cultivate students with sufficient and efficient skills and knowledge to enter the present open labour market.
Ngo,why not compare the possibility of a college graduate getting employment or starting their own business in comparison to a vocational student. Keep in mind that these days, vocational students can earn better because they can work for themselves right after graduating from their short course. While college students need to gain employment from others before they can start making a living for themselves.
While the argument that you offer is acceptable, the discussions are not fully explained or developed. These problems create a hole in the discussion and leaves the reader questioning certain statements that you have made. In order to balance the discussion, you need to expect certain questions and be sure to defend or discuss your stand in the essay. If you think of the question while writing the essay, then so will the reader. Then make sure to preempt the question by posing a discussion of it in the essay.
Overall though, you did not write a bad essay. While it is marred by bad grammar, you were able to get your point across and give the reader some points to ponder. As I said, there is room to improve your discussion. However, the essay can be graded on its current merit and I do believe that the score will not be bad at all :-)
thanks alot. it's very kind of you to give me useful feedbacks. I am going to take the ielts exam next year, and i am so nervous. can you tell me how many marks i might get from this essay?
@halokenisis, i really appreciate if you can give me further feedbacks on this essay? i've edited it.
The issue of whether students should enroll in vocational courses instead of universities or not has been heated constantly. Although there remains some valid arguments to the contrary, i am convinced that students graduating from vocational schools seem to have better opportunities than university graduates in the fierce labor market these days.
On one hand, entering universities or colleges has become a prevalent and publicly recognized phenomenon, behind which certain reasons lie. After getting their high school diplomas, students usually desire to pursue higher education level. The explanation for this prominent trend is that students seem to be inculcated the idea of getting more white-collar and higher-paying jobs with an university degree. In addition, the number of universities has sky-rocketed over the past decade in an attempt to universalize tertiary education; therefore, students now can easily get a seat in universities than ever before.
On the other hand, taking vocational training can bring about certain advantages. It is an indisputable fact that students who enroll in vocational courses certainly accrue a host of practical experiences,therefore, easily to get along with and perform efficiently in their future working environment. For example, after graduating from a vocational school, a student whose major is electrical engineering is supposed to acquire not only in-depth knowledge about electricity but also technical skills to work with all manners of electronic devices, giving him foremost advantages in comparison with those who just get themselves exposed to mere theory. Also, vocational schools play an important role in supplying a large quantity of competent workers to fulfill manual employment vacancies that are usually abandoned by university graduates.
In conclusion, although tertiary education seems to be a satisfactory choice for a number of students, it is an undeniable fact that vocational training is a more practical choice. Students from vocational courses are more likely to be equipped with sufficient and efficient skills to enter the harsh labor market nowadays.
Hi Ngo, I'd like to share my insights to your essay.
After proof reading your essay, I believe you made a good revision, however, there's still a few words and sentences that needs enhancement.
1st paragraph
- universities or not, has been a heated constantlydiscussion .
2nd paragraph
- On one hand,( this is not necessary as you have not discussed your views yet )E ntering universities
There you have it Ngo, a few remarks from me and I hope they helped.
I would also like to remind you to make sure that when writing the word "I", it should be capitalize and and mind your punctuation marks, they should be placed
in the right place at the right input that completes the sense of your sentences.
