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There are many types of music in the world today; 'mental disease therapy'


JOYCE TENG 1 / -  
Dec 17, 2013   #1
Topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Music is an important part of our life. If we walk on the street than we can hear different types of music are around us. The earliest music can be tracked back to many centuries ago; the purpose of playing music was to pray or used it in some important ceremonies. As the time goes by, varieties of music are created. From street to concert and from amateur to professional player, music plays the significant role in human's daily life. It is necessary for some reason, such as entertainment, therapy, and culture connection. All the parties or ceremonies need music, the rhythm can make people feel fun and relaxing. Moreover, in psychic way, some doctors therapy patient mental disease by using music as well.

Traditional music is always a representation of a country's culture and history. Nevertheless, it also shows people's lifestyle and thinking in the past by reading its lyrics. Therefore, people can realize the culture identity from those songs or rhythm and be shared around the world. However, international music is new appeared from these decades, interestingly, more and more new types of music are being created and some of them are also be widely accepted. Two of these types of music are equally important for me, because they are all in the different meanings to different groups. What we need to do is to adopt and respect it.
znack 7 / 31 5  
Dec 17, 2013   #2
Hi Joyce teng

Did you write a general ielts topic or an academic one?

If it is the academic writing, you should at least follow the essay's structure:

Introduction
1 paragraph
2 Paragraph
Conclusion

from an amateur to a professional player

Moreover, in psychic way, some doctors therapy patient's mental diseases by using music as well.

Nevertheless, it also shows people's lifestyle and thinkingthe way of thinking in the past by reading its lyrics .

Therefore, people can realize the culture identity from those songs or rhythm and be shared around the world.

two different verbs:people cannot be shared around!

However, international music is new appeared fromin these decades, interestingly, more and more new types of music are being created and some of them are also be widely accepted.

because they are all in the different meanings to different groups.

I dont understand the meaning of this sentence.

I hope my correction is right and it can help you.

Znack


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