HI.
Please grade my essay. Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education.
Nowadays almost all schools include such subjects as art, drama, and music in their educational program. Therefore, by the time when children graduate school they have general understanding and basic knowledge in all of them. In my opinion, it is a positive tendency and these subjects should indeed be a part of every child's education. I would like to introduce several reasons and examples that I believe will support my viewpoint.
First and foremost, teaching of subjects such as art, drama and music is very crucial in forming of a thoroughly developed and educated individual who is well aware not only of science and related fields but also of arts in wide sense of this word. Completely educated person should have skills or at least knowledge in and understanding of art, music and drama as well, because these subjects develop creativity and artistic approach to life and surrounding world. Even though if a child will not pursue any of these fields of arts, he will be able to comprehend and appreciate them, by making his input to preservation and promotion of these subjects in future. For example, I did not attend any specialized music or art school, but my basic knowledge obtained at school assist me in apprehension and evaluation of pieces of art, music or drama. In addition, I can hold discussion in any of these subjects without any difficulties due to my background, received at school.
Furthermore, teaching of these subjects helps parents in detection of hidden talents and special aptitudes of their child, because usually parents take their children to specialized art or music schools after discovering interest and abilities toward any of the mentioned subjects. For instance, my neighbors decided to send their seven years daughter to fine art courses because she was doing very well in her art class, especially in painting.
Moreover, teaching of these subjects enrich the inside world of any child and assist in expression of ideas, thoughts and feelings that a child is unable to due to the traits of character. Usually people who cannot convey their feelings through words are successfully express them by playing music, drawing, creating sculptures and so on. The best example is the prominent scientist A. Einstein who was at the same time a very good violin player. When asked of the reason of his passion to music he responded that it was the best way to express what he could not deliver in words.
In contrary, too much propagation of music, art or drama may shift a child away from the other subjects that constitute an important part of education as well. Only few of children desplay special aptitude to the mentioned subjects and mere interest in, let us say, music may persuade parents and a child to believe falsely that the latter has talent to it and drift him/her away from studying other subjects, causing serious gaps in a child's education.
In conclusion, I would like to emphasize, that teaching of music, art, and drama are critical in revealing hidden abilities of children toward these subjects and in forming completely educated and thoroughly developed individual with rich inside world. That is why I adhere to opinion that music, art and drama should be a part of every child's education.
You could improve the thesis statement by listing the points you will make. You could even use a bulleted list if the teacher approves of that sort of thing. Or, you can list them in a sentence, separated by semi-colons.
I would like to introduce several reasons and examples that I believe will support my viewpoint: the blah, blah, blah: the importance of blah, blah; and the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
This long sentence is correct, but a little awkward. You could use a dash:
First and foremost, teaching of subjects such as art, drama and music is very crucial in forming of a thoroughly developed and educated individual who is well aware not only of science and related fields but also of arts -- in wide sense of this word.
The best example is the prominent scientist A. Einstein, who was at the same time a very good violin player.
In contrary, On the other hand, too much ...
I can't give a grade, because I don't know what criteria are being used to grade you. However, it is very nicely written!!
