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The table illustrates the total students as Initial Teacher Training (ITT) candidates based on sexes


liv_ryu 13 / 22 6  
Apr 9, 2016   #1
IELTS writing Task 1 : Initial Teacher Training (ITT) Qualifications Obtained 2005/6 and 2006/7, UK

The table illustrates the total students as Initial Teacher Training (ITT) candidates were qualified in 2005/6 and 2006/7 based on sexes in Great Britain, and the percentage of qualified man in the same period. Overall, it noticeable that total qualified teacher training increase slightly, while over two year training period most candidates was dominated by postgraduate degree students.

With regards to Postgraduate Certificate in Education (PGCE), the total numbers of qualified students decreased dramatically more than 500 students from 2005/6 to 2006/7. The number of female qualifiers were 17,420 people in the beginning of the period, roughly threefold more qualified than male in the end of period. This figure shown a slightly fall from the proportion of man from 28.6 to 27.1% during period.

Turning to Bed and other degree, both woman and man showed a slight rise in 2006/7. The increasing number of female who achieved ITT were higher than male which totally differ from 6,400 to 6,920 and 1,085 to 1,125 respectively. This figure also experienced 0.1% increasing male qualifiers.



ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Apr 9, 2016   #2
Lily, perhaps your next move is to avoid some repetitions in your essay by using some synonyms and do some paraphrases. Now, for a detailed analysis of your grammatical errors:

- and 2006/7 based on sexes in Great Britain, and (to avoid redundancy, you can separate this sentence)
- it is noticeable that, (comma needed) total qualified..
- teacher training increase slightlywitnessed a slight increase ...
- candidates waswere dominated..
- The number of female qualifiers werewas(if the numbers... were)
- shownshowed a slightly fall (Verb 2 not Verb 3)
- The increasing number.......................... werewas
- 0.1% of increasing male qualifiers.

Overall, nice improvement that you have there, keep up the good work! :)


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