You have been asked to write an article entitled "Why Sports Should Be Made
Compulsory In Schools" for your College bulletin.
Using information from the two reading passages, write an article of about 300 - 400 words
to support your views. Include three main ideas with supporting details in your article.
Nowadays, sports are very important as education itself. Deputy Prime of Malaysia, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin suggested that the education policy need to be revised in order to give importance to sports. This is to ensure that the students are able to excel in academics as well as in sports. Unfortunately, most students care less toward sports which in turn will lead to the cause of indiscipline in school. Nonetheless, sports should be made compulsory in schools at all cost.
First and foremost, sports can help to develop not just physically but mentally as well. Sports consist of various types of vigorous activities ranging from the traditional like jogging to new modern favorites such as skateboarding. All of these activities are able to remove unwanted toxins from the body through increasing the circulation of blood, boosting metabolism and so on (Robert S. Griffin, 2010). With a healthy body, come with a healthy mind as well. When students engage in sports actively, they are able to develop a sense of increased alertness (Kyra Nova, 2008). This, in return can stimulate the brain and help students in their studies.
Besides that, sports can cultivate the importance of cooperativeness among students. Nonis (2005) stated that children will be more ready when they learn the importance of cooperating with their friends. This can help to overcome their shyness and be extravert to their surrounding, which is essential for their future. Hence, in order to emphasize the importance of cooperativeness, students should be motivated to participate in team sports (Stern, Bradley, Prince & Stroh, 2003).
Furthermore, having sports compulsory can increase the possibility of getting college sponsorship. It is very difficult for some students who come from the lower income families to continue their education due to low financial problem. However, students who participate in sports can give them a chance to further their studies through scholarships sponsored by few of well known college. Though, not every is into sports and not sports-minded (Robert S. Griffin, 2010). Nonetheless, sports are indeed, can help those who are needed to be able to afford their education.
In a nutshell, sports should be made compulsory in school. Without sports, students will become unhealthy, introvert, individualistic and so on. In addition, discipline problems will arise among students when there is no focus on sports in school. Therefore, sports are necessary for development and the better future of student
When I strated reading your essay, I liked the way being. However, in 2nd para and thereafter I found too many quotes. First of all, I am not sure whether they are correct.. second of all, I do not want to verify it. There might be an evaluator like me... so it would be good to make your own argument keeping only few quotes where it is absolutrly needed.
Though, not everyone is into sports and not sports-minded (Robert S. Griffin, 2010). Nonetheless, sports are indeed, can help those who are needed to be able to afford their education.
Your idea is good and am sure, couple of more posts, you will improve considerably.
Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciated it!!! Sorry, i forgot to post the reference list. Anyway, I just need feed-backs about my essay whether there is something wrong with or not. I'm happy that you like it. Once again, thanks!
