Nowadays, there is a growing recognition that people spend more time on enjoyment than the jobs they should do. But from where I stand, this
two are is
With the rapid development of
Therefore, relaxation is the right choice
release. Or Therefore relaxation is necessary.
Further more, as long as people dispose time suitably, they won't be
affected by personal enjoyments; on the contrary, they can form good habits through dealing with
things in an efficient way.
When I was While
in high school I began to manage my study time
, which used to be my parents job. At first I did
all my time
to be as
a coach potato, I fell behind my classmates and
become began to
I talked to
my parents gave me
. Following their suggestion
I made a study schedule that put all the entertainment back behind the study and did all the projects
) as I
. When the end of the semester came I
one of the top 100 students. In the meantime I have
time to play Red Alert.
So I'd like to
say "without either one,
society would not be complete".
It seemed that you started off strong and then began to rush a little. Were you on a time limit? Your personal experience creates a good point and you've stuck with the topic. There are some jumps in tense and some grammatical errors that make it a little hard to follow. You also might want to expand your conclusion. I hope this helps and good luck :)