Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


To solve the fear of crime problem. What official has done is not sufficient to restrict it.


bastian20 10 / 16 2  
Apr 4, 2016   #1
TASK 2.
Many people are too scared to leave their home because of a fear of crime.
Some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, whereas others feel that nothing can be done.
What are your views?


In some metropolises, dwellers fear to consume a lot of time outside their accommodation due to apprehension of crime. Some people argue that what official has done is sufficient to restrict it. However, others have different perspective, it is useless. I think that there two additional policies which can be conducted by government to overcome this issue.

With regards to inhabitants think that the even though authority carry out many mechanisms to solve to this problem, they are pointless. This is because virtually mafias work together with some individuals of police. Based on what Misha Glenny showed on Ted Talks, underground criminal organisations can distribute illegal drugs without restriction since some people in authorities back up their business. Aftermath, the number of crime increases significantly. Hence, whatever roles government will formulate, they cannot reduce this detrimental activities.

On the other hand, others still believe that council can deal with this phenomenon. There two possible policies which can be done by council to tackle. Firstly, they should cut off the supply chain of the connection between mafias and violated civil servants. If this method can be conducted well, it can push the figure for crime dramatically. Furthermore, government have to incline the quality of education since the main factor of criminal action is educational deficiency, despite this policy has indirect impact.

To sum up, it evident that obviously, we can handle this condition by providing some solution. I say that two potential methods which are offered are able to overcome it. I recommend to authority to apply them in order to give safe feeling to public.
suxiaojing 13 / 18 7  
Apr 4, 2016   #2
hi bastian

your example of Ted Talk is so great, I should write it down and remember it right now, haha.

But there is few grammatical mistakes like: it(is) evident that...

hope you can correct them.


Home / Writing Feedback / To solve the fear of crime problem. What official has done is not sufficient to restrict it.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳