Can you give me all your suggestions about my 40 minutes writing task?
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.
To date the world is constantly developing and to move with the times modern people tend to study constantly during their life and to keep themselves up-to-date. 50 years ago people had a single career they were specialized in without any extra occupation, working till they get retired keeping their initial workplace. During 8 working hours they managed to do only their principal work and they hadn't enough time to do something else.
Nowadays, thanks to the new technologies and press of modern life, we have plenty of free time and luck of money. Such words as Ťmainť and Ťside jobť appeared. The employers are not interested in hiring the employees on a full time basis, because it comes with social benefits, thereby they engage people for a fixed term contract or a part time job or they sign a service agreement, as it's more advantageous for hirers.
Hence, the employee has got more time for several careers or ways of earning money and continued education.
For those who choose the latter it's a free choice, for some people it's a constrained choice. For such people it a necessity: no pain no gain. People who made this free choice earn more money, get promoted and move up the career ladder, they are competitive. Although, there are some disadvantages of this option: they don't have enough free time and holidays, they don't spend much quality time with their family and relatives, also they should take into consideration a stress factor which is high enough.
Eventually, there are several walks of life after school. Whatever you choose, it rests with you to decide as best you can.
To date THESE DAYS, the world is constantly developing and to move with TO the times modern ERA, WHEREIN people tend to study constantly during their life and to keep themselves up-to-date. 50 years ago people had a single career(.) they were specialized in without DID NOT HAVE any extra occupation, working till they ge Ot retired AT keeping their initial workplace. During 8 working hours(,) they managed THEIR TIME to do only FOR their principal work and they hadn't enough time to do DONE something else.
Nowadays,thanks to the new technologies and press of ...
Such THE words SUCH as Ťmainť and Ťside jobť appeared.
... they sign a service agreement, as it's more advantageous for hirers RECRUITERS.
Hi Maxim, here is 2 paragraph corrections from me, anyway I think you should not use informal words for this essay, such as "thanks to" however this could decrease your score. good luck for your test :)
Hi Maxim, below are my input for your essay.
- To dateToday the world is constantly
- the times modern time,
- people tend to study constantly, ( don't forget your punctuation marks )
- during their life andin order to keep themselves up-to-date.
- career that they were specialized in
- without any extra occupationother additional knowledge ,
- working till they ge t retired keeping their initial workplace.
- During 8 workingThey work for 8 hours
- they haven't hadn't enough
- Nowadays, thanks to the new technologies
- and the pressure of modern life,
- time and lucklots of money.
- as it'shas more advantageous for hirersto the employers .
There you have it Maxim, overall, you tend to have the right idea in your head on how to approach the essay, however, you are having a hard time expressing it on writing. I hope the corrections made will be able to show you options on how to strengthen your essay.
