SAT essay sample - how important is to look beyond superficial appearances?

Can anyone score this essay and point out why and its weaknesses? Like how does it failed SAT essay criteria.

Prompt :In a culture obsessed with superficial appearances, our leaders should be those who can see beyond the surface. Judging a book by its cover is the job of the new consumer, but reading the book- pondering its contents and perhaps seeking to write new chapters- is the job of a leader.

Assignment: How important is it to look beyond superficial appearances?

Appearance is always often be the first considered in our way of seeing someone or something. But this have to be the first not the last. We are not little to be disappointed by outsider appearance instead of inner one.

For instance, a person who is looking for someone to be married with will always hide all his/her bad (or even very bad) comportements away. So he/she will have the potential of being well judged by others. Thus, this coming partner will be very disappointed and as a result mess this relation up shortly.

Not to be the last, appearance is known to be really convective. Its effects is used in marketing and, make the consumer thinks if something looks good, it is good. Therefore, a product that is well presented will often have a high rate of sell and be more attractive to consumer; unless they have tried it and get the real persuasion of it.

As presented by the examples below, we can see that appearance is slippery. Indeed, it's a matter to consider but it's not fair proof to to base our judgments on. Thus, leaders should be doubtful of appearance and look to see beyond.

Wow! I like it. I'm not sure why its not acceptable. Maybe additional supporting details are needed.

Okay! I will try to make one longer next time. Do you have any suggestion about the paragraphs' structure? I find them weak.

My first impression is that it's pretty short and concise. However, I have no idea about the word requirement for this task. Better go by the task requirements :)

Appearance is always often be the firstconsidered in our way of seeingthing that makes the first impression about someone or something. But this havehas to be the first, not the last. We are not little to be disappointed by outsiderexternal appearance instead of inner one.


.... this is a very confusing sentence.... I don't understand what you try to mean by that :(

Thank you for your remarks. In fact, that was a first try.