research of ITT qualifications in 2-year period

The chart illustrates the number of student living in the Great Britain obtaining teacher training qualifications in 2 periods between 2005/6 and 2006/7, and the percentage of men qualifications. Overall, there are changes showing in this time frame. In any case, while the number of Total teaching qualifications obtained have dominated in whole figures, the gradual increase has revealed by Bed & other degrees.

To begin, the number of females in first category increased dramatically from 23,865 to 24,335, representing the highest proportion in every period. In contrast, the number of males decreased steadily between 8,065 and 7,610.

Finally, 71.4% women qualifiers in 2005/6 for PGCE rose slowly to 72.9% in next year. However, over a quarter men qualifiers fell gradually to 27.1 percent. For the last category, even though its total and girls number jumped sharply with the gap about 500 females, boys and their percentages remained stable in around 1,000 males and fourteen percent, presenting the lowest portion in this research.

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Irham, you definitely need sentence structure, tense usage, and plural form help in this essay. Let me help you by revising the problem paragraphs below:

The chart illustrates the number of students living in Great Britain in order to obtain their teacher training qualifications during the years 2006 and 2006. The chart also showed the number of qualified male students. The information contained showed a change within the frames. The number of total qualified teachers dominated the figures, the gradual increase was revealed by Bed and other degrees.

In contrast, the number of males decreased steadily between FROM 8,065 DOWN TO 7,610.
- This paragraph is too short. You always need a minimum of at least 3 sentences to complete a full paragraph. You need to extend the information in this part.

Finally, 71.4% women qualifiers in 2005/6 for PGCE rose slowly to 72.9% in THE next year.

even though THE total and WOMEN NUMBERS jumped sharply with A gap OF about 500 females

percentages remained stable AT 1,000 males

fourteen percent, REPRESENTING the lowest portion

A closer look at the data reveals that the total number of female teachers trained initially stood at 23865. Yet, this figure rose to 24335. As seen, there was a marked rise in two years. This is in stark contrast to the male figures in both years, when there is a decline in total number male teachers trained, between 8065 and 7610 teachers .


Well, I think you'd better not to use "finally" in this part, since no sequence events are stated at all.


Boys and males are of two different meanings. If you use 'boys' to replace "male", then I think this can be misinterpreted. Beware of using synonym. I prefer keeping the original phrase rather than the inappropriate ones.

Irham,

In my opinion you tend to be out off topic in introduction.

In any case, while the number of Total teaching qualifications obtained have dominated in whole figures , the gradual increase has revealed by Bed & other degrees.

Total teaching qualification is sum up from PGCE and BEd
(Total teaching qualifications = PGCE+BEd & other degree)

if you want to say the dominated figures it refer to PGCE students.

let me try :

In any case, while the number of Post Graduated Certificate Education (PGCE) dominated in whole figures, the gradual increase has revealed by Bed & other degrees.