Hey,everyone!!
I found this website when I was seaching for essay structure. It's nice there is a place for helping students with essay. Recently I am working on my writing skills. I would like to hear anything about this essay. Thanks!!
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people?
I am firmly believe that always telling the truth is the important cosideration in any relationship between people. But why some people don't tell the truth or hide the truth? I think there are three reasons.
First, people think the truth will lead to other bad thing happen. Do you remember Anderson's story"The Emperor's New Clothes"? At first, all the folks, from soldiers to ministers, pretend they can see the invisible clothes. Because they are fear of appearing unfit for their position or stupid. Until the little boy who blurts out that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all. I think the boy save the entire country avoid being foolished. Let's just image if nobody tell the truth during the march. The Emperor probably will wear the invisible clothes to meet envoys from other countries, eat dinner with them. All those thing will turn himself into the laughing stock.
Second, people don't tell the truth because they want to fix the problems before it gets worse. It seems that is a good wish. But sometime things just don't work on their way. The more they hide the truth, the more trouble will come. If they could tell their family or relatives what's happened, they will get more help from them and it always works better when you have some support from your friends or family. When I was in high school, I did well with my most subjects except geography. For a long time, I spent time to study it, but nomatter how hard I tried, I just couldn't find the clue. I started get mad at myself and felt uncomfident for studying. Finally, I asked my deskmate who was very good at geography whether he could help me figure out. We did some review after each class and I felt more confortable on the subjec.
Thirdly, some people don't want to take their resposibilities from the bad result. Most people would like to take the credits from their job, avoid involving in the bad situation. Sometime, they keeps the troubles away from themslves by telling lie or hiding the truth. In my opinion, most of the empolyers would like to hire people who are honst, hard work, understand their role in the company. Those are the basic traits what the employers are looking for.
Compare to the results, I believe that telling the truth is important in any relationship. You can hide the truth for a while, but you cann't hide it forever. The better way is face the truth and get rid of them.
Greetings !
check your spelling...
uncomfident-unconfident
confortable -comfortable
resposibilities-responsibilities
they keeps ? or they keep? Check your grammar
from themslves -themselves
was very good at geography -who is good at ...talking about ppl's ability ..always in present simple
In my opinion, most -not suitable use this phrase in the middle of the essay...you may start in the beginning of the essay.
(Introduction)
Compare to the results-not suitable for conclusion -you may say In a nutshell , to conclude , in conclusion try to use a
suitable linking devices
I am firmly believe that - I beleived that ...would be nice
Do not start the sentence with conjunction such but...first para
I think there are three reasons-is vague you may say there are three reasons in the introduction . Make it simple.
Overall comments :
- Many mistakes in grammar the meaning is still clear. Patches of accurate language use occur.
- Little variety in sentence structure
- Only basic vocabulary. Errors in use of more ambitious vocabulary
- Points are mostly relevant; some illogical/irrelevant points.
- Little coherence in Paragraphing
- Not very well organized points
- Essay is not interesting
Regards
Isai
Dear Isai,
Thank you sooo much for your time and comments. I will keep trying to improve my essay. :)
Weiwei
well, the topic is "is telling the truth the most important consideration?",
but your topic sentence for every paragraph seems to develop "why people do not tell the truth?"
even though in the end of paragraph you do return to the topic,
the first lines of paragraph still make people confused and a bit off topic.
First, people think the truth will lead to other bad thing happen. Do you remember Anderson's story"The Emperor's New Clothes"? At first, all the folks, from soldiers to ministers, pretend they can see the invisible clothes. Because they are fear of appearing unfit for their position or stupid. Until the little boy who blurts out that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all. I think the boy save the entire country avoid being foolished. Let's just image if nobody tell the truth during the march. The Emperor probably will wear the invisible clothes to meet envoys from other countries, eat dinner with them. All those thing will turn himself into the laughing stock.
it is better to change the red part into "first of all, telling the truth helps people to discover the mistakes and to remedy it as soon as possible". (it's just an example. maybe you can trim it better)
such topic sentence can help reader to catch your point easily.
hth :)
Hi weiwei, I'll try to give some more ideas...
To have good structure, make a full, complete introduction. Lest eh reasons and then make a meaningful conclusion.
But why do some choose not to hide the truth or tell lies? I think there are three reasons: __________________, ______________, and ___________. In consideration of these reasons, I conclude that ______________________________________... (end of first paragraph.)
Compare to the results ???, I believe that-----------I don't know what that part means.
:-) I'm glad you found our community!!
