Here is an essay I wrote for the English Composition CLEP. If you guys could rip it apart and show me what I should do differently that would be great! This is a rough draft that I wrote in 30 minutes. The topic is:
The rating of TV Shows and Movies: is it ever appropriate?
Not-Rated
I believe that rating movies and TV shows is not only an appropriate thing to do but a responsible thing as well. When you look online to check out what movie is showing down at the theater what do you see? You probably see a list of movies with ratings next to them. Sometimes you might look at the ratings, sometimes not, but have you ever thought of movies not being rated? With today's topic I will show you first, the benefits of ratings; second, how arguments against ratings don't really stand; and third, what could happen without ratings. I will be showing this for both TV shows and movies
You're taking your kids down to the movie theater to be entertained. If you do your research beforehand you know what movie you are going to see, and what it is rated. You know what the worst parts are and you know that nothing in the movie is worse than what you let your kids watch. Most of the time ratings and reviews are put in the same category and they will in this essay. All the reviews of the move help rate it so that you know what movies are family friendly. To a lesser extent TV shows are also rated. Most of us don't look for TV show ratings, but we might look for some reviews. Again, rating the show for us. You now know what will be included in the show and can decide to not watch or vice-versa.
Opponents of movie ratings might try and further their point by saying it doesn't matter if a movie is rated. You could go watch it first and then decide if you want your kids to watch it. The problem with this is time, for a lot of adults they are busy with events and work. If you have kids you might not have time because of field trips, soccer games, practice, babies, and any other possible reason. What about TV shows? Opponents will ask. Why do we rate them? The answer to this is, People rate them, but we do so to a lesser extent. If anything we should be more aware of what TV shows contain. Without ratings someone might turn on the TV and flip on CSI for a room full of kids. It would probably happen once but it would still happen. I am not aware of any problems that exist from rating movies, but if there were some they would be miniscule in comparison to the benefits of rating movies.
What is the impact? What would happen if we didn't have ratings? You might take your kids down to the movie theater to watch a movie with an innocent title that no one you know has seen. The theater darkens, the movie starts playing, and the movie should have been rated "R", but, unfortunately, there are no ratings so you didn't know anything bad about the movie.
We need continue to rate movies and TV shows so that we can be forewarned. Problems would arise if we didn't rate them, I have shown you how movie ratings influence people's decisions, possible arguments against ratings and their refutation, and the impact of not rating movies and TV shows. You can easily find all the benefits of something by imagining what it would be like if it didn't exist.
IMHO...
qte//
What about TV shows? Opponents will ask . Why do we rate them? The answer to this is, p eople rate them, but we do so to a lesser extent. If anything we should be more aware of what TV shows contain.
//unqte
In general it is a good one but you had asked a lot of questions in your essay.
good luck and Namaste ! :)
I think it would be helpful if you were to talk a little more about why movies are rated the way that they are. What kinds of things are viewers warned about? Include sex, violence, language, drug use, nudity, and other issues. Even a PG movie, by rating standards, can contain brief nudity, profanity, and violence, but they are not allowed to show drug use. You say, "You know what the worst parts are and you know that nothing in the movie is worse than what you let your kids watch," but I think it would be helpful to spell out what those "worst parts" are. Instead of just saying that CSI would be bad to show to a roomful of kids, make the point that the program portrays violence that is not age-appropriate for all viewers.
"I am not aware of any problems that exist from rating movies, but if there were some they would be miniscule in comparison to the benefits of rating movies." I am not sure where you are going with this sentence, but it doesn't bolster your argument. Are you saying that no one has issues with movie ratings? There have been directors who don't like the system because they believe it takes away their artistic freedom. There have also been movies that have thrown in gratuitous scenes to getting a PG or PG-13 rating because they don't want to appear too "bubblegum." There have to be other reasons why people would be opposed to a ratings system, but those are the only two I can come up with. I think you either need to recognize and refute the opposition or skip it all together.
There were a few minor grammatical issues and problems with verb agreement, but you aren't planning on turning this in as a final copy so it seems silly to correct those at this point.
Use a comma:
...down at the theater, what do you see?
You know what the worst parts are, and you know that nothing in the movie is worse than what you let your kids watch.
This is great! The way to improve it would be to aim the argument at an opposing argument that some people might actually make. What I mean is, no one would really argue with this. Is anyone objecting to using ratings? If so, see what they say and refute it. Be a warrior of argument.
This is a solid essay, already, though. It shows insight and understanding.
Thanks for all the feedback! For the actual CLEP test I will have an additional 15 minutes to write and proofread the essay.
The main objection to the rating system is that the ratings may not reflect what parents think they do. A movie like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, for instance, has a PG rating. It also has a wonderfully horrible scene in which a cute little cartoon character is killed by being slowly dipped into a vat of acid. A parent who would generally let his kids watch PG films might well not want them to see this particular movie, despite its tame rating. G and PG ratings also don't say anything about the values promulgated by a film. So, parents need to take a more active role in their kids lives, and learn more about what their kids watch, rather than relying wholly on an impersonal system to act as a sufficient safeguard. That is the argument you need to deal with in your "opposing arguments" paragraph.
