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SAT essay-Do we put too much emphasis on self reliance and independence ?


tanvi3595 3 / 8  
May 22, 2012   #1
Do we put too much emphasis on self reliance and independence and are afraid of admitting that we need other people in our lives?

Please grade on a scale of 1-6.I would love suggestions on grammer,structure,concept etc.

The industrialist world of today compels us to prove our self reliance and independence. Any sign of dependence or plea for help is seen as a sign of weakness and is taken advantage of. The other party establishes a sense of superiority over the weaker one and tends to take advantage of the situation. Therefore, we tend to protect our self esteem and may go on to forget the need of others and their value.

Even as a country we did so. India had an ugly colonial past. So after independence in 1947, it decided to close its economy through high tariffs and quotas on import. This was done to prevent any kind of interference by foreign countries and ensure freedom in decision making, which could be achieved in the absence of dependence. However, after four decades of its abject poverty, population explosion, lack of infrastructure and other problems it finally had to take a loan from IMF for 7 billion$ on the condition of opening up its economy . Since 1991, India saw globalisation and now holds huge foreign reserves and had also been benefitted by outsourcing various economic activities.A new interdependence was established. So we can infer from this that in an attempt of establishing independence and self reliance, isolation is not a solution as, ultimately, it may prove harmful for us .

It happened too a friend of mine too. As a talented painter and a good student she received various laurels in her school. Teachers, parents, students ; everyone seemed to praise her .It gave her a sense of pride that extended to unwarranted arrogance. This attitude reflected on her actions and drew her friends away from her. However, she did not mind this as she understood them to be jealous of her talent and decided that she could live without them. What she failed to realize was that it was the normal people including her friends who were responsible for her success. Had they not praised her talent,she wouldn't have been realized at all as a painter. Had they not encouraged her she wouldn't have improved. There wouldn't have been acknowledgment if it wasn't for the people in her life.

Even for a company to flourish, it needs people to like it and buy its products. Same goes for an actor whose success lies in the applause he receives after his performance or for a politician who needs public support and votes in order to win an election. As an individual he can be independent and self reliant in terms of money. However, one cannot undermine the importance of other human beings in their lives. The purpose could be any- sharing of emotions, need for a listener, help during hard times or just simple appreciation through a smile. One cannot survive alone in this world.
Athena - / 83 3  
May 22, 2012   #2
Dear Tanvi,

I find that you're key points are well explained and supported. I just corrected some of the grammatical errors. (mainly punctuation marks)


However, after four decades of its abject poverty, population explosion, lack of infrastructure and other problems , it finally had to take a loan from the IMF for 7 billion$$7 billion. ...

Since 1991, India sawhas been experiencing globalisation and now holds huge foreign reserves and hadhas also been benefitted by outsourcing various economic activities.

So ... solution as ultimately, it may prove harmful for usit will ultimately prove to be harmful.

It happened tooto a friend of mine too.

As a talented painter and a good student, she ...

What she failed to realize, was that it was the normal people including her friends who were responsible for her success.

Had they not encouraged her, she wouldn't have improved.

self reliantself-reliant

All the best for your SAT!! :)


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