Some people believes that children should have formal training at school to become good parents. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.
Pupils should be trained how to become a precedent parent. Therefore many people argued that education institutions should provide some parenting programs. While it is important for pupils, I strongly believe that the course is not essential taught in the classroom.
Pupils will experience some difficulties to understand about parenting. One of the major reasons is while the teenager years have covered physical maturity, but not with their psychological factor. They are still young and not ready to face the complicated problem such parenting. Therefore, it seem meaningless to introduce this course to students. Secondly, the subjects that have ever taught in the school have enough imposes for learners. The obvious evidence is that there are a number of students getting stress due to national examination. Thus, teaching parenting is going to present difficulties for learners.
On the other hand, becoming well-qualified parents does not require such parenthood training in formal education. Children can learn it naturally throughout their adulthood. Be based on research, it found that the development of children is more likely related to experiences outside the school. This ability allow them to solve problems and break challenges during their life. Finally, when they had a family in the future, this would guide them to be successful parents.
To sum up, it is evident that parenting program is not precisely to teach in formal educations. Children can learn it over their life-time naturally in their adulthood.
Nurul, I am going to focus on your introduction and first body paragraph. I think you still need a lot of works in revising this essay. Many sentences are still confusing the reader. You should remember that reader or examiner is not a mind reader, and therefore you need to make your sentence easy to understand. Do not force yourself to make a complicated sentence because it often leads to mistake if you do not have a good control of grammar. Now, for a breakdown of your grammatical errors, you can see the descriptions below.
- Pupils should be trained how to becomebea precedenta good parent. (be careful, precedent (noun) means an action, situation, or decision that has already happened and can be used as a reason why a similar action or decision should be performed or made, for example, There are several precedents for promoting people who don't have formal qualifications.)
- Therefore, (comma needed) many people argued that education institutions should provide some parenting programs related to parenting .
- One of the major reasons is that teenagers are physically mature, but their psychology are not.while the teenager years have covered physical maturity, but not with their psychological factor.(make it simpler in order to make the reader easy to understand)
- ...to face the complicated problem such parentingparenting problem .
- Therefore, it seemseems meaningless to introduce this course to students.
- Secondly,Another reason is that the subjects that have ever been taught in the school have enough imposes for learners.are imposed to learn exceed their limits.(putting 'secondly' should be followed by 'firstly', I give you an alternative answer)
As you can see Nurul, you can develop your writing by following my feedback above. I hope to see an improvement of your next essay practice soon. Good Luck :)
On the other hand, becoming well-qualified parents does not require such parenthood ...
Children can learn it naturally throughout IN their adulthood LIFE. Be based on research, it found REVEALED that the development of children is more likely related to THEIR experiences outside the school. This ability allowS them to solve THE problems and break THE challenges during their life. Finally THEREFORE, when they WILL SUCCESS BEING PARENT WHEN had BUILD a family in the future, this would guide them to be successful parents.
