I am an international student and my grammar and vocabulary are not really good. I need some advice on how I could improve my essay, I am very interested in hearing different opinions as I want to improve my writing skills.
Trying to "do better than" others is natural to every person. It's programmed in our genes to try to outdo people around us at least in something, knowtion that we are better than somebody usually gives us some kind of satisfaction. Even the people who claim that they are equal to everybody else, by saying that they present their selves as just to others, which obviously makes them feel like they are doing better than people who do not care about others. But the interpretation of "do better" can vary from person to person. For some it can be by achieving high social status or by knowledge they have in a particular subject or perform some action better than people around. Some diverse and unusual point can be found in th "Republic" by Plato on this subject.
In the Book I of The Republic Thrasymachus declares "A person of great power outdoes everyone else" by this statement he presents the phenomena of pleonexia, "the insatiable desire to have what rightfully belongs to others", as a natural state, where justice is an obstacle. Thrasymachus argues that being completely unjust is what will make you happy and not being just, because if you are completely unjust you will appropriate of what you want by force or by slyness no matter if it belongs to someone, and no matter who the person it belongs to is your relative, your friend or someone you don't know. Unjust men try to "outdo" or "overreach" others, they try to have more than what is supposed to be theirs. Socrates says "A just person doesn't outdo someone like himself , whereas the unjust person outdoes both like and unlike" In my opinion just person does not need to outdo unjust person in any way, from the moral side just person is already above unjust one, only because he/she is just and from the material side a just person would never want to have what the unjust one has because all of what the unjust person has is whether stolen or taken by force. And it would be contradictive to a definition of a just person the desire to have things that belong to somebody else. Would not be a just person be happier with the little but gained by truthful means, then with a lot but gained by force?
In Book II Glaucon argues that those who practice justice do it unwillingly , and if they are granted the freedom to do whatever they wish for we'll see the just person doing the same things as the unjust person. "The reson for this is the desire to outdo others and get more and more" explaines Glaucon. Then he gives us an example of the ring of Gyges to support his explanation.
According to the article Rich Man's Burden in New York Times nowadays "the rich are the most stressed out and the most likely to be working the most" In today's world people are in a constant race for money. This makes the our world totally different from the world of Plato. In ancient Greece rich men had everything done for them, well today's business man also have people working at their homes, but the pace of nowaday's life is much faster. While before you had to wait a few month before you would receive an answer from your business partner in another village, now you will probably receive it within an hour. Now we have to make decision everyday and sometimes the faster you are the better you will do. "women with higher income report feeling more stressed than women with lower incomes" which means that more money you have, more you work. A conception that for ancient Greeks would be something ridiculous.
You really need to make sure that you are citing any and all statements in your work that are not 100% your original words. There are some mechanical and punctuation errors, and your conclusion is weak. I'm not really sure if that is the end of your essay or not, but if it is, it should be a paraphrase of the entire text, not just your last main idea.
