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The pictures informs about the development of Stockford village during 1930 until 2010 - IELTS 1


Trisulastri 27 / 18 4  
Mar 24, 2016   #1
The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and in 2010.

The pictures give information about the development of Stokeford village in two different periods, 1930 and 2010. Overall, it can be seen that the most noticeable transformation in this village was the development of residential area alongside the road. In the contrary, there was several building that remained unchanged over 7-decade.

According to the maps, Stakeford experienced the development of housing area which led to changing in the design of road in the middle of village. However, in 1930, two spacious farmlands had been converted with open space and housing area and also two shops located in the north of post office was demolished.

Furthermore, in 2010, primary school expanded its area by adding two new buildings on the east side of the main building. Gardens, which located in the south of primary school in 1930, pulled down and half of this area turned into buildings for retirement house, which is the largest house in town before. Interestingly, post office and the design of bridge and river stoke remain the same over 80 years. 



Yusri31 28 / 31 8  
Mar 24, 2016   #2
Dear Aisyah

The pictures give information about the development of Stokeford village in two different periods(You mentioned "The development in the beginning of paragraph" so it is better when you use "From 1930 to 2010) .

In the contrary, there was several buildings(It is better when you mention the name of the building, such as school, post office etc..) that remained unchanged over 7-decade.

... development of housing area which led to changing in the design ...
However(You should not use "However", because you do not compare something) in 1930, two spacious farmlands had been converted ...
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Mar 24, 2016   #3
Hi Tri, I would like to share some corrections that will hopefully modify your essay when you do the revision.

- The picturesdiagram gives - InOn the contrary,
- there wasare several

- According to the mapsdiagrams ,
- area whichthat led to
- changingthe change in the design
- of roads in the middle of the village.

- located in the north of the post

- which are located in
- the south of the primary
- pulledbarred down
- house in town before.
- of the bridge

There you have it Tri, as you can see there's still a few more corrections to be done in order to revise your essay and polish it, your analysis is there, the idea is captured in the sentences too, you are just missing tiny details.


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