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IELTS: People's interaction and relationships vs technology


huajianmeng 1 / 4  
Aug 8, 2011   #1
Title: Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

In this day and age, science and technology has been undergone dramatic progress. And our lives has been changed greatly by highly developing techniques. In spite of sitting around to discuss something, we would rather telecommunicate with each other. Whether this is a positive effect of technology to human' s life is a controversial issue. As far as I am concerned, there are both merits and demerits.

On one hand, it is undeniable that some negative effects has occurred in social life by technology. Recent years, increasing number of people select communicating with others through computer or telephone. In this circumstances, they cannot feel eachother practically. Thus they cannot see the sensation from counterparts' eyes, cannot touch the skin through which they can get emotional supportment much better than a word, and they also cannot feel the changing emotion timely. As is known to all, the high-tech products, such as, computer, telephone, emit radiation which is harmful to the users' health.

On the other hand, we cannot deny that there are many positive sides of communicating with others through high-tech products. It is much more efficient to touch each other by telephone rather than walking to see the one you wanted just for one word or one thing. Furthermore, there is no need for citizens to walk on the street, because most of the troubles can be settled through computers, such as, buying some clothes can come true just clicking the mouse by e-commerce. In this case, traffic burdern would be released somehow, and this also benefits the enviroment by less car exhaust.

To sum up, it is inevitable that life is changing greatly with the developing of technology especially the way people interacte with others. Although a host of harm has been caused by technology to man's life, there are much more affirmative influences. And I wish that there would be less bad effect of technology in the future.
start208 14 / 68  
Aug 8, 2011   #2
In this day and age, science and technology has been undergone dramatic progress. And our lives has been changed greatly by highly developing techniques. In spite ofInstead of sitting around to discuss something, we would rather telecommunicate with each other. Whether this is a positive effect of technology to human' s life is a controversial issue. As far as I am concerned, there are both merits and demerits.

On one hand, it is undeniable that some negative effects has occurred in social life by technology. Recent years, increasing number of people select choosing communicating with others through computers or telephones . In this circumstances, they cannot so they can not feel eachother practically and cannot see the sensation from counterparts' eyes, cannot touch the skin through which they can get emotional supportment much better than a word, and they also cannot feel the changing emotion timely. As it is known to all, the high-tech products, such as, computer, telephone, emit radiation which is harmful to the users' health.

On the other hand, we cannot deny that there are many positive sides of communicating with others through high-tech products. It is much more efficient to touch ! each other by telephone rather than walking to see the one you wanted just for one word or one thing. Furthermore, there is no need for citizens to walk on the street, because most of the troubles can be settled through computers, such as, buying some clothes can come true just clicking the mouse by e-commerce. In this case, traffic burdern would be released somehow, and this also benefits the enviroment by less car exhaust. this should be rewritten.

To sum up, it is inevitable that life is changing greatly with the developing of technology especially the way people interacte with others. Although a host of harm has been caused by technology to man's life, there are much more affirmative influences. And I wish that there would be less bad effect of technology in the future.

ur essay is good but u can show more. good luck
ladib
ekekek 25 / 51  
Aug 8, 2011   #3
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

well, I think you need to clearly answer the two questions in the title first in your introduction.

Also, your have to choose positive or negative, but not both, in order to make your argument reinforce.
OP huajianmeng 1 / 4  
Aug 9, 2011   #4
Thanks for your reply! I have considerde your suggestion carefully, and the problems you raised bothered me a lot. Although the argument can be reinforced by choosing a positive or negative attitude, i don't confident enough to write so much words to meet the requirement of words to the IELTS writing. But i will take your suggestion, and try my best to write another essay to show just positive opinion, just to enhance my confidence to write a better article. Thanks a lot!
OP huajianmeng 1 / 4  
Aug 9, 2011   #5
Thanks for your reply! I have considerde your suggestion carefully, and the problems you raised bothered me a lot. Although the argument can be reinforced by choosing a positive or negative attitude, i don't confident enough to write so much words to meet the requirement of words to the IELTS writing. But i will take your suggestion, and try my best to write another essay to show just positive opinion, just to enhance my confidence to write a better article. Thanks a lot!
emphatic 2 / 1  
Aug 9, 2011   #6
On the one hand
negative effects have occurred
In recent years
each other
As it is known
to touch each other by telephone-didn't understand
traffic burden
with the development of technology
people interact with others

good piece of work. this could be improved by better linkers and more ambitious vocabulary.
TTJudy 4 / 3  
Aug 10, 2011   #7
You may well learn more about fixed collocations and refine you language because there are quite a number of awkward expressions in you essay :-)


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