Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important.
Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
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In order to be happy, some people believe that they have to do something they like most, those also say that many other essential things can cause happiness. I believe both of the opinions affect to people's happiness in work and in many aspects of their lives.
Someone who works something that they do not like, or incapable to do tasks which not their capability, will cause stressful and lowering their desire to work. Certainly, a man who loves and enjoys his job, will make an upward progress to success. These will affect to his happiness level. He will be more satisfied, enthusiasm and willing to do another tasks.
Despite that, environments, situations, and colleagues also make an important effect to people's happiness. To illustrate, a magazine writer need a conducive place to write his project while the situation surrounds him is his colleagues chattering in a loud sound. In this case, he cannot do the job well and bring about confusing and delay. He will never feel happy to work in such situation.
However, happiness is not only about a job, there are a lot of things that people can do to be happy. For example, a lonely man can be happy by having a friend or a lover. Another people will feel happy if they can get what they dream of, it can be things, vacations, a tender or someone. But those things, are making people happy just in a particular time. They have to be thankful for everything they had, to make their happiness last longer.
To sum up, indeed have an enjoyment job is making people happy, but another essential factors such as places, circumstances, friends and grateful also make a critical reason for people to be happy.
Regarding the content of your essay, I think that it is good. I like how you utilize reason and logic within your justification of why happiness with ones job is important. Most of the grammar mistakes are simple ones and the other critics have already helped you with that. However, one thing that I believe this essay is missing: a powerful last statement. Remember, the final sentence is the last thing that the reader will remember make it good (try not to say things like "To sum up").
hi M3li, I have read your essay, the way to serve your idea in your writing quitely good. Moreover, I just give additional suggestion for you so as to reduce your error in the next time. please pay attention with every single first sentence which you make. it could be better if you avoid use BUT in the first sentence, other words you should avoid is For, And, Nor, (BUT) Or, Yet, and So (FANBOYS). keep writing.
But However those things, are making people happy just in a particular time.
Nice organization of thoughts. Try to put your essay is 4 paragraphs.
... some people believe that they have toavoid Ehave to) in writing IELTS, use (better) do something they like
... in many aspects of their lives live.
... capability, will cause stressful and lowering I think it is not good ...
... enthusiasm and willing to do another tasks another task or other tasks.
Despite that in spite of that, environments ...
To illustrate, a magazine writer need needs a conducive place to write his project while the situation surrounds him isdouble verbaround him is surrounded by his colleagues chattering in a loud sound.
... a job, there are a lot ofavoid this word in writing IELST, you can change to be many or several things that people ...
Anotherother people will feel happy ...
