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Movement of population to cities becomes more popular in many countries for several reasons. IELTS


Gaiavu 1 / -  
Mar 6, 2015   #1
Topic:In many countries, young people leave rural area to study or work in cities. What do you think are reasons of this? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?

Movement of population to cities becomes more popular in many countries for several reasons. While it is true that this shift brings a negative effect, I think the benefits is more likely greater.

There are variety causes used to explain why young people move country to city. Firstly, cities, where many companies and manufactures are located, can provide a range of options for career while employment prospects in most country areas are limited to agriculture. Secondly, the education system in cities is more advanced than in rural areas. In Vietnam, for example, hundreds of universities are established in Hanoi as well as Ho Chi Minh whereas their appearance is sparse in small provinces, so students over around country live far home to get a Bachelor's degree.

The increasing number of urban dwellers puts pressure on cities. Rising demands for transport lead to traffic congestion. Social facilities such as hospitals and schools are overloaded. However, I believe that this movement has greater benefits than drawbacks. With a range of jobs, young people can choose the best career that serve both their interests and basic needs of life. Consequently, companies can also recruit the most suitable employees due to a variety of people from different areas. In addition, movement to cities to get a university diploma proves the improvement of education which positively affects the development of nations.

In conclusion, continued movement to urban areas seems to be inevitable. While cities have to suffer huge pressure due to this shift, I think that it likely has a positive effect in many ways.
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Mar 6, 2015   #2
Sorry, can you clearly show me how the first paragraph is disorginazed? I not really understand, I mean that 2 ideas about causes : limited work in country area, advanced education in cities.

1.You should never utilize more than one idea for each body paragraph.
It is fine to write 5-paragraph essay!
EF_Jasmine - / 68 39  
Mar 6, 2015   #3
Hi! Great start!
Here is an outline that may help you:

Introduction- Introduce the question and your thoughts
Body1-City advantages and disadvantages
Body 2-Rural city advantages and disadvantages
Body3-Argument of both sides/ reasons
Conclusion- Close the paragraphs with an overview

I see you have great thoughts but your advantages and disadvantages are jumbled up. This outline is just a suggestion, but structuring your thoughts/sentences would make your essay stronger. You are on the right path though!


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