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Not only mother is giving her time and energy to nourish and raise children


Hiruni 3 / 14 3  
Aug 1, 2014   #1
Prompt - Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as mush as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?"


Why fathers parenting are less appreciated? One major answer to this is fathers tend to have responsibilities which take him away from their children. This has brought the fact that mothers are more responsible for bringing the children up. Although in dynamic society it is not only man takes the economic control of the family but also the woman. Therefore racing children has come to a stage where both parents equally take part in.

However in some cultures and countries, mothers are more involved in bringing up children while fathers hold the financial burden alone. This leads them to spend a little time with their children, resulting a weak father-child relationship. Nevertheless it is also believed that women are more domain to decide to have children or not, fertilizes this situation furthermore. Anyhow I believe that this opinion is outraged. In the sophisticated world equipped with modern technology, father is powerful as mother to decide to have children.

But undoubtedly the natural process where woman holds the baby in her womb for almost a year, gives the mother to attach with the infant more dearly and emotionally which built a great foundation to her relationship with the child. Althought for the better psychological and physical development of the child father should also take an equal part in their life. To facilitate that father can share more joy by doing activities such as playing with them, read to them, go picnics and camping etc.

Anyhow to conclude this with my personal opinion , I believe that how much fathers are not involved to parenting, when children grow up they realize that it was not only mother who gave her time and energy to make them nourished and built but also their farther.

word count - 291
If I'm not asking too much please rate this essay in a scale of 1-9.
Thank you for your time and contribution.
OP Hiruni 3 / 14 3  
Aug 1, 2014   #2
PS- I divided Paragraphs from where it says " However in some cultures and countries, mothers are more involved in bringing up "
but the site doesn't show that. However in my original essay there are 4 paragraphs.

Introduction- where the Prompt as well as my opinion
Body
Body
conclusion


I really Wish i have improved this time.
ningo 22 / 53 9  
Aug 1, 2014   #3
Why fathers parenting are less appreciated?

You should avoid using question to start an essay. The purpose is to paraphrase this topic fluently.

This has brought the fact that mothers are more responsible for bringing the children up.

Try to not use the same words with the question. It's my suggestion:
It leads to the larger responsibilities from mothers for their children's bringing.


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