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Living in the country or city? Living in the country aint all that you think!


jr24 1 / -  
Mar 28, 2010   #1

living in the country or living in the city


living in the country aint all you think it is.there are no jobs around.
there for you have to go all the way to the city for jobs.
if you like going with out money then you might like living
in the country.the country have less money than the city.
on the other hand if you live in the city you may not
have a problem finding a job you don't even need a job to
make $500 a day thats how good it is.but the voilence
on the other hand is more stronger in the city than the country
the people in the country don't have a better opertonity
than the city it's better education in the city.more business,
the cost of living in the country is lower than the city
because there are no jobs in the country.
TimMill 9 / 63  
Mar 29, 2010   #2
Hello Sanford.

Welcome to Essayforum! We're happy to have you here and to offer advice, but it's important that we know what we're critiquing. Is this supposed to be an essay or a poem? Do you have a prompt? What kind of class is it for?

Answer these questions, and I'll be glad to help!

Best wishes-
Tim
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 29, 2010   #3
Therefore you have to go ...

if you like going without money ...
...the country have has less money ...

Use a capital letter to start each sentence:
On the other ...
... finding a job; ...
make $500 a day thats how good it is.------ ha ha, no, I have to disagree. In the city, I cannot make $500 per day, ha ha...

I'll add 2 commas and get rid of "more"
..., is more stronger in ...---Never write "more stronger." I am strong, but you are stronger, and she is strongest.

:-)


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