I am having mixed emotions while reading your comments..It is frustrating that I have misunderstood most of the things I studied.
Nevertheless, I think everything is clearer now. I will be uploading another essay, I hope we can see some improvements.
thanks again.please do not stop from giving me tips...
I doubt that you "misunderstood" anything (or at least not "most of the things") that you have studied.
Your confusion is understandable---most students have been taught so much conflicting information that they don't know what the hell to do.
Regardless, I'm glad to help in any way I can.
I apologize for having caused "mixed emotions" on your part. Still, I've been around long enough to know how this game works.
As for using examples, of course you should use examples where appropriate and IF they don't take up too much space. However, one of the top essay killers is the failure on the part of the writer to explain the
relevance of the examples. (If the reader sees your examples and wonders, "So what?," then you have a problem.)
Perhaps part of the problem (and this goes for my SAT, GRE, and AP students, too) is the overuse and/or misuse of the term "example." A better way to think of "examples" is to view them as FACTS or points of EVIDENCE.
You need to remember that, above all else, IELTS is a test of your writing fluency. It is not a history or literature test.