hello their ,
I am trying to write an essay about my laptop :
could you please give me a feedback about grammer or punctuation mistakes ?
this is the essay:
According to policy of IT College in the UAEU, I have to have my own laptop. Here, I am going to write some information about my first laptop. My laptop is from Dell. My laptop name is Dell XPS M 1210. I loved my laptop when I saw it. It is a very small and portable laptop. The monitor has 12.1 inches. The most important thing in any laptop is the memory; my laptop has a 70 GB of RAM. On other hand, my laptop has many other features that no other laptop has it, such as, large and moveable web camera, and independent microphone inside so I do not need to add any outer microphone. In addition, there is a special icon called Media Direct; this is a software installed to do media stuff. For example, playing movies, songs and viewing photos.
I really love my small laptop with black lid and silver keyboard. I am using it on my studying on university and on practicing my favorite hobby, which is writing short stories and novels. Recently, I started a small project using some programs like, Movie Maker, Adobe Photoshop, Blue J and E-clips. Starting my small business project makes me depend on my laptop very much. Furthermore, having a wireless device on my laptop was helping communicate with others easily. To this end, I am using my laptop more than 10 hours daily. Finally, I would like to say, the friends doesn't mean persons only, it could be animals or things, that's why my laptop is my best and close friend, I love it so much.
Greetings!
You've written an informative essay! Here are some editing suggestions for you:
According to the policy of IT College in the UAEU, I have to have my own laptop. Here, I am going to write some information about my first laptop.
My laptop is a Dell XPS M 1210. I loved my laptop when I first saw it. It is a very small and portable laptop. The monitor is 12.1 inches. The most important thing in any laptop is the memory; my laptop has 70 GB of RAM. On the other hand, my laptop has many other features that no other laptop has, such as a large and movable web camera, and independent microphone inside so I do not need to add any outer microphone. In addition, there is a special icon called Media Direct; this is a software installed to do media stuff. For example, playing movies, songs and viewing photos.
I really love my small laptop with its black lid and silver keyboard. I am using it for my studying at university and for practicing my favorite hobby, which is writing short stories and novels. Recently, I started a small project using some programs like Movie Maker, Adobe Photoshop, Blue J and E-clips. Starting my small business project makes me depend on my laptop very much. Furthermore, having a wireless device on my laptop helps me communicate with others easily. To this end, I am using my laptop more than 10 hours daily. Finally, I would like to say, friends are not necessarily persons only, they can be animals or things, too; that's why my laptop is my best and closest friend-- I love it so much.
Good job!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
