There is little room to doubt that music has been playing a privotal role in our daily lives
.... I cannot find any relevance of this sentence to your topic or the rest of the essay you have written. What's your point in having this line?
First of all,music is the food of our souls
.... hey... here you are telling the opposite of what you've stated above ... did you mean that "there is no doubt" ? (above line)
First of all,music is the food of our souls.It provides tired minds with a healthy entertainment and opens a way for us to escape from all the hustle and bustle of lives. Nowadays people can't live without music.It's such a magic pill to cure bad moods and heal emotional wounds. Secondly, music can be a stimulus to encourage us to go through the ups and downs of lives. In addition, there are meaningful songs that teach invaluable life lessons and speak up for things that words are unable to describe.
.... If you are preparing for TOEFL or IELTS, it's important that you include more specific examples to back your reasons. In this paragraph you have several reasons, but I don't find specific examples.