Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves.


vrajveer89 8 / 21  
Jul 6, 2010   #1
The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves.

A friend of mine made a statement - "The people of Bhutan are among the happiest people on this planet". Ever wondered why? The lives of these people are free of any trifles or stresses, which we have come to associate with a typical individual of this century. The Bhutanese still believe in leading a life according to the old norms. The rapid pace of life, which causes more problems than it solves - and I strongly advocate this statement - has certainly not found its way into their lives. And the result - a happy and a content life.

Before one starts to argue about why modernization is important and how it has influenced our higher standard of living, we need to be clear on one issue, the basic one. What is it that we seek the most in our lives? Is it a villa having a sea view to live in or an air-conditioned Mercedes to drive? We don't mind any of these, but these luxuries don't guarantee the thing we are desperately looking for - satisfaction.

Let us consider this from the perspective of a human life cycle. Most people still concur that the happiest period in a person's life is usually the childhood. A child doesn't have to care about a deadline on Monday morning or a properly prepared presentation so that he doesn't incur a huge loss. A child is not aware of the increasing demands an adult faces in his/her day-to-day life. And not surprisingly, a child is happy.

The advent of mass media and its contemporary scientific miracles has certainly shortened the time to convey a piece of information and the subsequent actions that need to be taken to survive in the cut-throat competition in the world. But it has also shortened the time one spends with his/her family. The time the person cherishes the most and yet cannot have it. This scientific advancement has been increasingly creating a divide within a family. It's a different matter that we have chosen to ignore it.

And not to mention the stress and fatigue related disorders that an individual in a growing economy has to face. We might have more to spend than ever before, but we also have less time than ever before to enjoy. What good is an increased lifespan if we have forgotten the true meaning of life?

I am usually asked why I prefer to stay in a lowly paid research sector, while the greener pastures of finance and marketing are still open to me. My answer is quite simple. My income from the research sector is far greater than the possible income from other so called 'highly paid' sectors. Might not be in monetary terms, but it certainly pays me more in terms of the satisfaction and contentment.

The scientific revolution might have had a novel intention - to make this world a better place to live in. But that intention has certainly given way to a rat race, a race where there can be no winners. At the end of the day, all that matters is, if we have achieved what we wanted to. Like the Bhutanese, I want to lead a life where I don't have to compete at each step. I want to lead a life where I can achieve what I cherish the most - 'PEACE'.
ershad193 14 / 333 5  
Jul 7, 2010   #2
Three points

1) You have used the example of "financial ability/status", more than once; i.e. repetition.
2) Incorporate a couple of arguments against your opinion, and then try to prove that your opinion is advantageous/better.
3) I'm not sure about the child example. Children are not, and have never been, affected by the pace of life. Hence, it doesn't strengthen your argument.
Azeri 10 / 137  
Jul 8, 2010   #3
Hi, Rajveer

May be you got tired of me giving praises to your essays instead of constructive feedbacks, but I cannot refrain from distinguishing them as interesting and readable ones. I could not find mistakes. You write very well as always. keep it up!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 8, 2010   #4
Is it living in a villa with an ocean view or driving an air conditioned Mercedes?---- I had this idea for this sentence, but you do not need my suggestions; you write in a very clever way!

Children are not, and have never been, affected by the pace of life.

Very interesting observation! I don't know if I fully agree, but I understand what you mean!

One thing has, multiple things have...
The advent of mass media and its contemporary scientific miracles have certainly shortened...

Oh, I just noticed who the author of this is.. Rajveer, you have posted some interesting material lately; I like this one.

How about this idea:
Might not be Though it does not always pay me monetarily, it certainly pays me more in terms of the satisfaction and contentment.
OP vrajveer89 8 / 21  
Jul 8, 2010   #5
Hi..

Thanks lot for all the feedback. I will definitely try to work on it!!


Home / Writing Feedback / The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳