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The impressive building or public service are crucial for people's lives


Wiwik Mujahidin 21 / 3 1  
Mar 31, 2016   #1
Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


The outstanding of the city always dominated by the luxury of skyscraper. Many people say that build luxurious building are crucial for a town, whilst other say that the money should be alocated to facility of education and health of inhabitants. Although, the opulent building are vital to make the city more breathtaking, I strongly believe that development of the public service are more crucial to encourage the quality of life inhabitants in a large town.

A great deal of people's number believe that the impressive building make city more seem outstanding. This is because the breathtaking of building make town interest and it can make the strangers come to visit it. For instance, the Palace of the Parliament in Bucharest, Rumania, the impressive buiding which get pay attention from the worlwide and it become most-proud the constructed dwelling in the around the world. Numerous people go to there to witness the beautiful constructed dwelling. The impressive of constructed dwelling can make town popular and it can invite tourist to come.

On the other hand, I believe that construction of school and hospital are more important to make netizents having quality of life. This is because, improvement of the education and health can increasing the productivity life of human now and in the future and it can be felt for all people in the large town. For example, in Finlandia, one of the countries have the best education and quality of life in the worldwide spent much money for education and well-being. Inhabitants there are happy and and their country have ability human source. Instruction in aspect education and health make their life more improvement.

To sump up, although the impressive the constructed dwelling are essential to create the large town as tonish, I more likely that construction of the education and health are vital to get the best life people in a city. Where possible, it have to get the best surveilance by all people.
Yusri31 28 / 31 8  
Apr 1, 2016   #2
The outstanding of the city always dominated by the luxury of skyscraper. (where is the verb in this sentence?)

I think, you will make the passive sentence. ( S+be+ V3) so, you should write the outstanding of the city always is dominated by.......

Many people say that build luxurious building are crucial for a town, ( There are 2 verbs in this sentence, build and are....)
It is better, when you say, many people say that establishing the luxurious building are crucial......)

A great deal of people's number believe that the impressive building make city more seem outstanding.

A great deal for Uncountable..

Make : makes

This is because = due to the reason that (paraphrase)
bastian20 10 / 16 2  
Apr 1, 2016   #3
Hello Mujahiddin, you wrote this article quite well. Actually, your idea can be accepted and understood. But, In my opinion you should avoid to use same words in one paragraph since it can reduce your lexical resources significantly.

Let me paraphrase your equal vocabularies in one paragraph and correct your grammatical error.

, whilst otherothers say that the money should be alocatedallocate to facility of education and health of inhabitants. Although, the opulent buildingstructure are vital to make the city more breathtaking, I strongly believe that development of the public service are more crucialimperative to encourage
bastian20 10 / 16 2  
Apr 1, 2016   #4
You also use so many same words in same paragraph, in order to increase your band in writing, you have to circumvent them and there some grammatical error. Besides them, I am going to attempt for give you another alternative for your first body paragraph.

This is because the breathtaking of building makemakes town interest and it can make persuade the strangers come to visit it. For instance, the Palace of the Parliament in Bucharest, Rumania, the impressive spectacular buidingstructure .


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