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IETLS; In China, all the kids have to learn English when they are very young.


littlekid 986 7 / 16  
Jul 21, 2013   #1
Hello,everybody, it is long time to see you. During these days , i made a couple of essays of ielts, could you indicate the problems that exists in my article . Thank you so much.

The first one Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a forengn language at primary school rather than secondary school? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In China, all the kids have to learn English when they were very young. So when is the most appropriate time?Begin with the primary school or when they are getting older?It is a controversial debate over this issue.Some experters,such as linguists suggest it is better for starting at the primary school.I do believe so.

However, there may exsits some problems,such as whether is reasonable.we all known when kids were 3 or 4 years old, their mother language systems are not stable.In other words, a kid can not understand the outside subjects in his or her own language-there may be some graphs or pictures for aiding.Definitely, forced them to remember another language will occur which kinds of centain effects is unknown..Eventually, it may be interrupted their mother language system and made them accomplished nothing.Even worse, they may be lost their own interests to learn a new language.

Neverthless, I still prefer to learn languages in the primary school rather than secondary suchool.Why?I think I can be setted as the negative sample who learn English from high school. Before I started English , I have the stable mother language system which led when I saw a cat, the first reflection in my mind is the word of cat in Chinese. Then I have learned English, how I remember the word of cat in English, the key point is that I always translates it from a Chinese term, completely depending on recition.-the mechanic repeation. I learn other English words in the same way too.What can we see from that? Yes, I almost added the third process-connecting the foreign language with my mother language, rather than the subjects themselves.

In a word, I reclaim my point, one of the benefits you learned foreign language at young ages is you can connect the images with the language itself, regardless of one's mother language. That is very important point for language learning.
April April 13 / 148 22  
Jul 21, 2013   #2
In China, all the kids have to learn English when they were very young.

--> This sentence should not be in the introduction. In your intro, you should papraphrase the topic and state your opinion.

Some experters

there may exsitsexist

such as whether is reasonable

--> What is "reasonable"? I don't get what you mean here.

we all knownknow

understand the outside subjects in his or her owna different language

In a word, I reclaim my point, one of the benefits you learned foreign language at young ages is you can connect the images with the language itself, regardless of one's mother language. That is very important point for language learning.

--> This conclusion is not relevant to the topic. The topic asks whether the advatages outweigh the disadvantages, not what is the benefit.

It is extremely important that everything you write is grammatically correct. If you make grammar mistakes, it will not only prevent readers from understanding your essay but also lower your band score.

Also, don't use rhetorical questions ("So when is the most appropriate time?Begin with the primary school or when they are getting older?", "Why?", "What can we see from that?") too much in your essays.

Best
OP littlekid 986 7 / 16  
Jul 21, 2013   #3
April April
thanks so much, i have learned much from your corrected version.


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