to choose between these two choices of "to go on a vacation"
even if I feel so tired or be on a need of vacation I think buying a car is looking forward (I deleted this part because you wrote it before and it is repetitive)
It is true that I would miss the chance of luxurious trip on Europe or making awesome experience of being in a beach or visiting great country and making a lot of memories, but I believe that with patience I will achieve all of them. I want to emphasize that having a car is more reasonable. In this time and age spending too much money on vacation is waste of money.
there are two issues in this paragraph. First of all you did not support what you claimed. Why do you think that spending money on vacation is a wast of money? Why do you think buying a care is more reasonable? Use examples, your experiences, statistics, quotations, etc as supporting statements. Second of all, you did not compare two choices stated in the topic.
the former choice
u used this expression in a separate paragraph. It is not clear for the reader that what you meant by "former choice". Do not make the reader to turn back an find the "former choice" (Consider the reader as a lazy person :))))
In my opinion the former choice is convincing
why is it convincing? it is too vague
but as I am a student it is wise to diminish the lifeliving costs
.
I have calculated the expense
I calculate the expense of transportation and it is much more than gas prices or insurance costs.
use numbers to make this sentence more believable. How much is that higher than insurance costs? You can lie in wiring and you do not need to use real numbers.
By taking care of the car
the use of the word
"maintenance" is a better choice in this context.
By taking care of the car I will save money, energy and time for a couple of years.
elaborate on this part. You should use persuasive supporting statements. How can it save your energy and time?
wants to consult mehim/her
I will try to persuade her to buy a car.
Regardless of the fact
but should not do we forget that time is passing and vacation will finished in an eye blink and routine life with its problems will start.