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IELTS: Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country.


me4mbd 5 / 11 5  
Aug 6, 2013   #1
Please give me your valuable suggestions regarding my essay.

Topic: Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this ways. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

It is clearly understandable that a vicious cycle and inhuman condition is strongly bonded with overgrowth population. Therefore, controlling the growth of population and limiting the number of children has recently become one of the hot topics that emerged on the surface during the past couple of decades. Some countries poses extra taxes to hold the grip of overgrowing population while other countries take others alternative measures. I strongly believe that controlling population through taxes is not a right way where other alternatives are available. In this essay I will explain my views why I do not agree with the concept of introducing extra taxes to control the population.

To begin with, it is a very personal matter where a couple will conceive a baby or not. Many people believe that this is not a matter for the state where personal freedom should be exercised. On the other hand, over stricting the rules and regulations can bring the disputes within citizen. That is why, I believe that, the best approach to control the number of children would be persuation rather than compulsion. Moreover, countries whose have problems with overgrowth population for instance, India and China introduced some strict rules and regulations. However, growing population is still the number one obstacle for these countries. On the contrary, western country like Australia does not have such kind of regulation, however, overgrowth population never seems a problem there. At this stand point, I believe that increasing awareness by a remarkable ways of campaigning can help civilians to understand the drawbacks of overpopulation. As for example, government could conduct some programs via NGO, television, radio, internet and so on which would unmask the negative effects of overpopulation such as shortage of food, unemployment, economic instability and so forth.

In addition, the supporters of the imposing of taxes perceive that, introducing extra taxes to control the population will help to rethink conceive a baby. They believe that, people will think twice before planning to have a child because this means they will pay extra taxes for that as well as lose other social opportunities as they will spend extra money on taxes.

To conclude, it is needless to say that a country can be faced myriad problems with its overgrowth population. There is no question to control the growth of the population, however the question has araised if it is the best way to control the population through taxes. In fact, I am not agree to control the number of children through taxes. I believe that other alternatives in particular education, awareness campaigns and so on will bring the best result as most of the western countries are benitfited from that.
zoha 8 / 19 3  
Aug 6, 2013   #2
controlling the growth of population and limiting the number of children ( both has same meaning) has recently become one of the hot topics that emerged on the surface during the past couple of decades ( you have already mentioned "recently" in the same sentence)

Some countries poses extra taxes ( enforce additional taxes sound better to me. also, "pose" instead of poses)
where a couple will conceive a baby or not ( probably, you mean " whether" instead where ? )
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Aug 6, 2013   #3
It is clearly understandable that avicious cycle and inhuman condition is strongly bonded with overgrowth population.

....
Hey...what do you mean by saying vicious cycle and inhuman condition? That's not clear and you should have explained it a bit more. Otherwise the reader gets confused.

Therefore, controlling the growth of population and limiting the number of children has recently become one of the hot topics that emerged on the surface during the past couple of decades.

... Don't have too many unnecessary words that do not contribute to your main idea. Then the reader would be distracted and also may lose interest in reading the essay :(

In this essay I will explain my views why I do not agree with the concept of introducing extra taxes to control the population.

....no need. You should have stopped with the previous sentence.

To begin with, it is a very personal matter where a couple will conceive a baby or not.

To begin with, whether to start family with kids is a very personal decision that should be taken by a couple.
Ibrahim_Xian 6 / 9 6  
Aug 7, 2013   #4
I strongly believe that controlling population through taxes is not a right way where other alternatives are available. In this essay I will explain my views why I do not agree with the concept of introducing extra taxes to control the population .

India and China have introduced some strict rules and regulations

At this stand point, I believe that increasing awareness by a remarkable ways of campaigning can help civilians to understand the drawbacksseriousness of overpopulation hence alleviate the uncontrolled growth of people . As for example, government could conduct some programs via NGO, television, radio, internet and so on which would unmask the negative effects of overpopulation such as shortage of food, unemployment, economic instability and so forth.

I think you need not to explain waht kind of campaigns they are, for this will make your readers bored.

introducing extra taxes to control the population will help people to rethink conceiving a baby.

Don't have too many unnecessary words

although they are beautiful

by the way I think your train of thought is clear
OP me4mbd 5 / 11 5  
Aug 10, 2013   #5
Thank you very much Zoha, Pahan and Ibrahim for your precious comments.


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