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Generation gap between ours and our parents


maryam_f65 1 / 1  
Aug 1, 2013   #1
Not only people around the world have different culture and are grown up in different condition but people in the same country, city, or even family have different behavior as well. One prominent cause of this distinctive behavior is the differences between every generation. As far as I concern, I assert that my generation is different from either my parents` generation or my grandparents` generation in several aspects.

First, we totally behave different from how our parents behave in various situations. For instance, past generation respect people based on their seniority. At the dinner time, the first person who should have started eating was the oldest member of family such as grandfather of grandmother; however, our generation act at the dinner time is based on first come first serve!

Second difference between these two generations is the structure of the family. My parents were grown up in masculine society. At that time, women could neither work outside the home as a part of society nor continue their education after graduating from high school (there were some exception). They just had to do household chores, deliver baby (especially boy), and say YES to their husband. Nevertheless, in our generation the equality between men and women play an important role in family and women present in the society as well as men.

Finally, due to the advent of new technology, the gap between these two generations has become vaster. The way of eating, communicating, traveling, and shopping evolve largely during the time. For example, my parents` generation ate healthy food cooked by them, communicated via visiting or sending letter to each other, took a trip by old-fashion car or slow train, and bought what they needed directly from small shopping center. While my generation are always busy; therefore we eat fast food, communicate by Skype or Email, go on a vacation by airplane, and buy and order items online.

When all said and done, I believe that although my parents` generation and mine have some characteristic in common, there are several distinctive features that stem from changing during different periods of time; these differences are the reason that why we cannot understand each other completely albeit closed relationship.
Evie - / 1 1  
Aug 1, 2013   #2
You should explain more your each idea and also give the examples. You have no examples and also your explanation is general.
ohmygoshessay - / 1 1  
Aug 1, 2013   #3
While my generation are always busy; therefore we eat fast food, communicate by Skype or Email, go on a vacation by airplane, and buy and order items online.

Shorten this sentence. It is a run on. Also, "While" and "therefore" contradict. You should say "Meanwhile, my generation seems to be always busy. Therefore, instead of doing as my parents have done, we..."

This way, your essay sounds more concise and less wordy.

There is also a lot of misuse of the semicolon ( ; ) in your essay. Please try to review the grammar rules associated with semicolons. Semicolons are not generally used very often, especially in academic essays. It is more formal to use commas, periods, and dashes to separate information.

Also, rule of thumb for grammar is that if a sentence contains more than 40 words/three lines, you need to edit it.

Good luck. :)
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Aug 3, 2013   #5
Not only people around the world have different culture and are grown up in different condition but people in the same country, city, or even family have different behavior as well.

.... Well... this is a poor hook. You need to say something that has more relevance to your topic. Your topic is about the generation gap between your generation and that of your parents. So, begin with a strong hook that sets you the stage for introducing your prompt. It is important that your writing always be aligned with the topic.


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