the figures was fluctuation
This is good. Yet, I prefer using "showed" rather than "was". Here is The figure showed some fluctuations in unemployment rates.
How ever the number of female jobless
However, the number of unemployed females
reached to peak at 6,8% in 2013.
It is always good to write no figure/ number/ percentage in the overview. Save it for the body.
Moving to more detail analyze,
If it has no detailed information, then writing this phase is useless. Therefore, I omit it.
to begin to 2013, the proportion of female unemployment in England stood at 6,8 %
(a comma) and it was highest that compared
WITH the other country. On the other hand,
THE FIGURE FOR Scotland had the proportion of women
WHO HAD NO WORKjobless at 6,7% in 2014
. And alsoTHEREFORE,THIS became the highest of jobless wom
aE n
jobless in this period. But
HOWEVER , it was still lower than England
's FIGURE .