IELTS ; What factors contribute to job satisfication?

QuestionïźšAs most people spend a major part of their adult life at work,job satisfication is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfication?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfication for all workers?

MY ESSAY:
With increasing adults throw themselves in full-time jobs, workplace has become the one where they stay for the longest time; therefore sense of job satisfication will raise largely attention form the whole society. In my essay, I will explore the possible parts of job satisfication ,as well as how realistic the expectation is.

Even though there are plenty of factors lead to perfect job,the most direct one is fair rewards, which is the best motivation of employees. Let suppose that if a worker makes huge sacrifices and commitments to company in the absence of adequate prizes, negative attitudes will ensue, not to mention job satisfication. Further, to provide a friendly pleasant working environment is an another essential part of job satisfication. From our own experience, it is easier to secure a sense of belonging with surrounded by exquisite facilities and considerate colleagues. On top of that, to elevate standard of employee's wellbeing is also rely on effective management. Managers are expected to assign workload in the light of the ability everyone possess, since individuals would like to perform challenging tasks to confirm their own values.

However, if we look at the real job market, expectations mentioned above are far beyond the reach of some people in certain fields. An evident example is street cleaner who bears a massive workload, but indeed earns meager salaries. Meanwhile, the notion of "occupational disease" is increasingly raising attention from society, as lack of comfortable facilities and environments has been a pervasive situation in some workplaces.

Overall, there seems to be a long way to go to enhance happiness of staff member throughout the whole society. Yet, it is not unrealistic if all relevant divisions shoulder their responsibilities for the sake of employee's interests.

additional point
satisfactory salary package

With increasing adults throw themselves in into [or engage in] full-time jobs, workplace has become the one where they stay for the longest time; therefore sense of job satisfication will raise largely attention form concerns from the whole society. In my essay, I will explore the possible parts of factors contributing to job satisfication ,as well as how realistic the expectation is.

This is a very important statement for this essay. This is the one you should use to align your writing with what your topic asks from you. This sounds out of topic. The prompt asks you ;

What factors contribute to job satisfication?... this is not about possible parts of job satisfaction but the factors that contribute for a person to have job satisfaction.

My suggestion;
In this essay, I intend to discuss about some important factors that help people to achieve job satisfaction and also to analyse how realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for people at work.



... you cannot have both "let" and "suppose" It should be either "let" or "suppose"