please check for my essay, i have read several times, but it seem difficult for me to point our my own mistakes, please help me, thanks so much
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such as letters, email, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
In modern society, with the rapid development of technology, people have more choices ways to communicate each other such as face to face, letters, emails, or telephones. However, I believe that face to face communication is much better than others, and in this essay, I will analyze some advantages of this kind of communication to support my opinion.
First of all, when people communicate each other in person, they can get responses immediately without misunderstanding. During conversation, people can not only hear responses from others, also see how they are feeling; people can guest what will take place next, how conversation is on, which is very important to have a successful talk. For example, in criminal inspection, face to face communication can know whether or not suspects are telling the truth through the way suspects answer questions, their facial, behaviors and eyes sight.
In addition, using face to face communication helps people express their feelings, ideas much better. Instead of using word only when people choose letters, emails or phone for communication, people can use eye contact, verbal language in order to show their opinions. Scientists show that more than seventy percent people use body or verbal language in communicating; thus, it very important for people use actions to express views.
Last but not least, conversations seem to be longer when people communicate in person. And of course, the more people talk together, the stronger and better relation they have. Take my friend for example. He is an insurance consultant, and he is very busy with his work; however, whenever his customers need advices, he always meets them in person never through phones, emails no matter how important customers they are. He believe that will make relationship with customers stronger and it is a key factor for success in his field.
To sum up, I believe that no matter how developed means of communication they are, face to face is still the most important and effective way for communication.
I think you should summarize your topic sentences in the introduction and conclusion more clearly.
You say about the advantages of face-to-face communication in the introduction, but it should be explained more specific. tell more about what are the advantages, Do not just write them in the topic sentences
Here are just suggestions
Do not take them to your heart.
the body paragraphes are logically acceptable, but the last one is not possible. By email or phone, many people can call up their boyfriend and parents for a long time.
To my view, i call up my buddy by phone for more than one hours.
Better ask yourself, are there any chances you phone someone longer.
In some situations, it is true that face-to-face communication seem longer, especiall if you work for a corporation. However, in real life, it is not always certain; for example, in university, you call up your roommates about how to do homework; you think you spend a short time doing that.
Here are other suggestions
They would guide you a lot to write the essay.
Last but not least, conversations seem to be longer when people communicate in person
hi keng, you are right, but i am not wrong.thus i use "seem" it means not 100%
thanks so muhc
I am not sure if the "other types of communication" in the qns is restricted to the examples given but I believe with the advanced technology now, we can use skype and do video conferencing which also brings me to another point - is the "face-to-face" in the qns referring to physically together or also includes digitally. Just some food for thought.
