Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


GRE:Educationors should dissuade students from pursuing fields unlikely to succeed.


daliqin 4 / 12  
Oct 28, 2011   #1
Issue 3:
Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
As we may all agree, Mozart and Steven Hawking are very successful people in their fields of study although music and cosmology seems unlikely to succeed to most of us. People share different talent in different aspects, Educational Institutions shouldn't perturb people's decision in pursuing their own career because they have no idea which one is the right way for different students to go.

Before I make my assertion, I have to concede that there are really some certain fields of study that are hard for people to reach a certain success. For instance, students in the field of Internet Technology (IT) are much easier to find a job than those who study Biological Engineering (BE) in China nowadays. So it's really Educational Institutions' job to solve this issue and to save those intellectual students from unemployed. But should we really have to dissuade students from pursuing unlikely success fields of study just because they may not find an occupation? Maybe that's not the case.

Considering the recommendation in the topic, there would be lots of clogs in putting that conception into reality. First of all, how we could separate all the fields of study into categories which stand for easier and harder to succeed is a big question. Does people really easier to success in high requiring fields than low ones like I said between IT and BE? As we all know, finding a job doesn't mean that you are succeeded. It's true IT students will easily find a job in the community, but they are really harder to success because there are too much competitors in this field. Unless you are super good, or you will do some really ordinary works day by day and find out success is something that never comes to you. In the sense like that, maybe BE is a better choice for students.

What's more, if we really put that recommendation into actions, more issues will appear on board. Imagine how chaotic the society will become under the blind dissuade of Educational Institutions. Certain fields of study which considered as unlikely to succeed will become abashed ones, and the consequences of that would be horrible. The society as a whole will develop in an unbalanced situation, some of the fields really need intellectuals while others are overwhelmed, and that will make the relative easier likely ones become really hard to success because of the severe competition. Also, most of the students choose their career for some certain reasons. Those students should receive a stronger support from the Educational Institutions. That's really the educators' job to let things become easier for those strong-minded students who are struggling for success in tough fields but to dissuade them from choosing it.

There is a saying in China goes like: In the 360 different categories of fields of study, elites come out from every single one. When we are facing the unbalanced situation in opportunities between different fields, we can try some other methods such as enhancing the corporation among them, increasing the research found, hiring better teachers or trying to make more occupations in the community to make it right.

After telling the points above, what should Educational Institutions do it's crystal clear, changing students' mind is the last thing we should do.
Bobur 5 / 29  
Oct 28, 2011   #2
As we may all agree, Mozart and Steven Hawking arewere very successful people in their fields of study although music and cosmology seems unlikely to succeeded by most of us. People share different talent in different aspects. Educational i nstitutions shouldn'tnot perturb people's decisions in pursuing their own career because they have no idea which one is the right way for different students to go.

Before I make my assertion, I have to concede that there are really some certain fields of study that are hard for people to reach a certain success. For instance,for students in the field of Internet Technology (IT) areit is much easier to find a job than those who study Biological Engineering (BE) in China nowadays . So,it's ] it is really Educational Institutions' job to solve this issue and to save those intellectual students from unemployed. But should we really have to dissuade students from pursuing unlikely successful fields of study just because they may not find an occupation? Maybe that's not the case.

+
*generating ideas
*vocabulary

-
*not clear response
*disorganized arguments
*no sign of adequate punctuation
OP daliqin 4 / 12  
Oct 28, 2011   #3
Bobur, thanks a lot :)

But could you please tell me how can I make things right? How could I give out an organized arguments?

BTW, I really don't know how to use punctuation, I always get confused in what kind of punctuation I'm gonna use. Thanks again my friend!
Bobur 5 / 29  
Oct 29, 2011   #4
For organization :
1. Idea=statement(there should be no numbers,evidence and etc.)
2. Examples or evidence (the more examples you have, the bigger your paragraph will be)
3. Re-state your argument (not necessary)

So, 1 para contains 1 idea and examples are here to prove that your idea is RIGHT.

For punctuation:
Read a book called "Elements of Style"
OP daliqin 4 / 12  
Nov 1, 2011   #5
thanks for your advice my friend! I appreciate it more than I could say :P Your answer is kinda helpful, really.


Home / Writing Feedback / GRE:Educationors should dissuade students from pursuing fields unlikely to succeed.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳