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Toefl essay. Computer vs book - chose to buy computers


hakuyo1112 6 / 9  
Mar 27, 2014   #1
Your school has enough money to purchase either computer for students or books for the library. Which should your school choose to buy- computers or books?

There are numerous equipment and facilities required by school to augment students' learning environment in order to provide higher education. Therefore, if my school had sufficient amount of money to buy either computer for students or books for the library, it would be a good idea to offer computers to students. There are several reasons why this choice is better than buying books for the library as it can be used as a convenient portable learning device as well as further aiding students' educational necessities.

It is a known fact that today we live in a highly developing technological era where almost everything is dependent on the use of computers as even schools and universities are introducing computers to their students. If the school plans to buy computers for students, it can ease their busy schedule spent on writing essays by hand whereas with the help of computers, students can easily type out their assignments in no time. As a university student, I find it quite difficult to write out five-hundred-word long essay by hand when it can be quickly typed in computers.

Another fundamental benefit of giving students computers is undoubtedly the easily accessible interaction among students and teachers. As we are all aware of, in order to receive higher education and succeed in schools, the cooperation between students and teachers plays an essential role. Therefore, with the use of computers, they can straightforwardly connect with no problems and students can send teachers their assignment from their home. More importantly, teachers are able to check and revise students' work during their convenient time saving both parties precious time.

Last but not least, studying requires students to research and receive a lot of information mostly through internet these days. Therefore, when the school offers computers to students, they are able to surf internet on their own computers and collect information they need to further understand their coursework or assignment. Other than searching for information, students can watch videos or movies that are related to their topic of subject.

Taking account of all these factors, we can infer that it would be for the best if the school chose to buy computers for students rather than books for the library due to many beneficial reasons. These include flexible schedule, endless source of information and easily accessible interaction among both students and teachers. Therefore, I would strongly suggest the school to introduce computers to students.
sandipsinh 37 / 90 3  
Mar 28, 2014   #2
Therefore, if my school had( HAS) sufficient amount of money to buy either computer for students or books for the library,
HAD IS PAST TENSE - DOES NOT GO WELL WITH YOUR USE OF WOULD (it would be a good idea to offer computers to students)

IN FALLOWING SENTENCE.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 1, 2014   #3
There are numerous equipment and facilities required by school to augment students' learning environment in order to provide higher education. Therefore, if my school had sufficient amount of money to buy either computerS for students or books for the library, it would be a good idea to offer computers to students. There are Several reasons whybehind this choice (a comma)buying computers is better than buying books for the library as it can be used as a convenient portable learning device as well as further aiding students' educational necessities.

It is nicer when you conclude the intro with a statement expressing your opinion very clearly.

5 or 4 paragraphs?
Well, if you have a question that you don't like at all, then you can write with a 5-paragraph essay. You write one introduction, three bodies, and one conclusion. This can help you write more words, but some students, that I see, put grandiose ideas, by writing too many words. Uppsss.., remember, 30 minutes to finish your essay are a must :D

Look at what Dumi suggests you with the structure (a 4-paragraph essay). With this structure, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly, one content paragraph for, and one againts. This is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-to-paragraph-to-essay construction, and for which in the five-paragraph structure this is weak.


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