Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


It is clear for me that the increasing percentage of overweight among children is parents' mistakes


nelarizka79 16 / 21 1  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion!


In these days, the rate of overweight in children shows the increasing trend. This convinces some people to consider the government as the one that should take responsibility, while I prefer to blame the parents.

Those accusing government believe that it causes the overweight in juvenile. Firstly, they assume that it has a big role in deciding the existence and advancement of unhealthy diet shops, such as Mc Donald, KFC, CFC, and so forth. In which, those shops will be built in certain area only if they receive such a construction permit released by government. In addition, the existence of those will be spread through several advertisements which are also requiring ratification from government. It means that the government encourages the development of unhealthy diet shops and ultimately creates an easy access for the children to consume junk food. Therefore, it is possible that government cause the high rate of overweight in juvenile.

However, it is clear for me that the increasing percentage of overweight in children is parents' mistakes. Actually, they have main role in taking care of their children's needs and conditions, but they failed to cover these. These are proven by the parents in my local city tending to bring their children to KFC or CFC for having lunch, and serve them a plenty instant food, such as instant noodle, croquette, nugget, for dinner in home. This renders the children to consume unhealthy diets more frequently, in junk food stall and in their homes.

In conclusion, despite those arguing that government is responsible to the rising rate in overweight in children, the parent's mistakes are more serious. The parents should watch more nutrition needs of the children.
adeclara 5 / 6 1  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
In these days, the rate of overweight in children shows the increasing trend. This convinces some people to consider that the government as is the one that should take the responsibility, whilebut/yet I prefer to blame the parents.

Those accusing government believe thatit("it" refers to what?) causes the overweight in juvenile ("juvenile" is adj. It is used with certain nouns).


Home / Writing Feedback / It is clear for me that the increasing percentage of overweight among children is parents' mistakes
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳