Unanswered [25] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Children should learn to compete rather than be cooperative. What's your opinion


QuynhAnh 1 / 3 1  
Jul 7, 2014   #1
Child-rearing has always been a topical issues over a long period of time, which is the result of parent's concern for their children. Each couple of parents, however, has a different way of teaching their offspring, especially in social contexts. Some argue that teaching them how to cooperate with others is proficient rather than instructing them to compete. Several points of both sides are worth taking into considerations.

On one side, children, having been taught to compete, can have a stronger motivation than others who are not. In many cases, motives have always been a focal point in success. Studying, for example, can be an ideal environment for children to practice competing with other friends. Working out a math problem in the race with others can encourage our children's creativity and thus, lifting up their intelligence. As a side effect of competing, a child can also enjoy a more conspicuous sense of personal achievement himself rather than having to share with others. In short, being taught to compete can motivate their own ability, which is considered more beneficial to themselves compared to having a tendency to depend on others in many circumstances.

On other side of the scale, however, is the benefits that children can earn from taking part in cooperation. Our society often regards the power of unity as a key to success. That is also the reason why we should teach our children to cooperate with each other. Putting heads together can enable them a variety of ways to solve a single problem, or even more complicated ones. In discussing with each other, children can also learn from each other and compare with their own answers in order to improve themselves, let alone the fact that they can come up with many more ideas for the same matter. Another worth - mentioning advantage of working together is that children can develop a sense of responsibility and team-work. We are now preparing for them to encounter with many problems in the future, including their employment. Having said that, many companies and organizations also require their workers to have the above-mentioned qualities in order to get the best yield. It is, therefore, vital for children to build up those qualities as habits. They can as a result get into less troubles during their work expectancy, having been prepared with sufficient skills.

In conclusion, both approach of teaching do children good. However, the latter, in my opinion, can be a wiser choice due to all of its benefits in the long-term despite the possibility of impeding outstanding student's personal development.

This is my first time posting my essay on this forum so I really appreciate any comment from you guys. Thanks in advance!
Tuti gunner 2 / 2  
Jul 7, 2014   #2
In conclusion, both approach of teaching do children good.

I think you should write: "In conclusion, both approach of teaching have good impacts on children''
OP QuynhAnh 1 / 3 1  
Jul 8, 2014   #3
Thank you so much. I will make some appropriate change
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 15, 2014   #4
Child-rearing has always been a topical issues over a long period of time, which is the result of parent's concern for their children.

wrong grammar - "a issues " ... this is wrong!
It should be - "an issue" or "issues"

I also guess that you meant "typical issue" and not "topical issue"

Several points of both sides are worth taking into considerations.

It is always good to be more straight forward and express your own opinion on the issue before concluding the intro. The above sentence only gives a vague feeling to the reader and does not help you add much value to your essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / Children should learn to compete rather than be cooperative. What's your opinion
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳