Its fundamentally wrong to get work done from kids and pay them while it's their age for playing and going to school.
.... it should be "It's". Here's my suggestion;4
It is fundamentally wrong to employ kids in paid work preventing them from enjoying their childhood.In country like India, where I belong,
Ina country like India, where I liveadults work
...
.adult work or
adult's workAnd the work these kids do is no less than what grown ups do.
.... Otherwise the sentence ends up abruptly without a neat completion.
Overall you have written a very good essay!