Everything in the world isn't stable and people know how much value transportation is in this changeable world. In my view, if i get the chance to change something in my city, third world country, i will turn our transportation system into modern one. I feel this because developed transportation will be lessened the suffering of city dweller and improved lifestyle which i will explore in the following essay.
To the beginning, due to the poor transportation system, city dweller's suffer is the beggar description. To bring comfort, i will give priority to modernize the communication systems. People in our city employees in the different parts of the country, they face difficulties when come back. Moreover, If someone needed to hospitalize, being bad road condition makes patients worse. Often it increases accident rate and also causes hamper in vehicles.As a result, few number of traffics runs through the road. In that condition, habitants who have no options transfer to other cities. So it feels me more that to improve the path construction.
Secondly, developed lifestyle is another factor why the highway construction should improve. Nowadays, People in the developed countries thinks to use super fast train, airplane etc. But those are imagination to the people lives in my city. The economy of our city is fully agricultural based economy and it is getting broken. The crop which produces in the field get spoiled due to lack of proper transportations or farmers are deprived of proper remuneration. Better street will help farmers to grow more foods to earn proper money. Therefore, the broken economic will be alive.
Thirdly, improved high will be diversified the economic and will be inspired more local and foreign companies to set up factories, different business. Ultimately, good investment in different sectors will carry more revenue of our country. As an example, our country exports garments to the aboard. As the location of my city, it is beside river so it is more possibility to set up mills and factories. The increasing number of business will bring more remittance and give more facilities to general people. People will find more jobs in our locality too.
To the sum up, transportation system is important for every cities and towns. I believe that if i change the road construction it will contribute to bring more income, comfort and developed lifestyle.
Maruf, in your essay, you provided a thesis statement that indicated your intention of improving the transportation system of the country. Now, when you develop your thesis statement, all of your points for discussion should be included in it, usually in a summarized form. This allows the reader to gain an overview of the upcoming topics for discussion. The problem, is that you did not complete your thesis statement. While you concentrated most of the thesis statement on the development of the transportation sector of the your country, your first body paragraph discusses a different point, communication.
Since you discussed a different topic in the succeeding statement, you should have adjusted your thesis statement to indicate two kinds of discussion, that of communication and transportation, within the essay. Now, for the next problem of your essay relating to the topic of communication. That paragraph in particular is the most confusing and unfocused part of your essay development. It does not properly discuss the importance of communication in your country or intentions and, it also contains a number of other topic discussions within it. These made the paragraph the weakest point of your essay.
It will be in your best interest to develop a more proper thesis statement and then open the discussion with a properly formatted paragraph that concentrates on one topic at a time. Keep in mind that you only have 5 paragraphs with which to discuss your chosen topic. So concentrate on the most important parts and develop those discussions rather than trying to discuss everything you can think of in one paragraph or one essay.
I feel this because developed transportation will lessen the suffering of city dwe ller and improved lifestyle which i will explore in the following essay.[quote]To the beginning, for comfort, i will give priority to modernize the vehicle communication systems.Due to the poor transportation system, city dweller's suffer is the beggar description.
Thirdly, improved highway will diversify the economic and will inspire more local and foreign companies to set up factories, different business. Ultimate result of the good investment in different sectors will carry more revenue of our country. As an example, our country exports garments to the aboard. The location of my city is beside river so it is more possibility to set up mills and factories . The increasing number of business will bring more remittance and give more facilities to general people. People will find more jobs in our locality too.
To the sum up, transportation system is important for every cities and towns. I believe that if i change the road construction it will contribute to bring more income, comfort and developed lifestyle.
maybe change the ending "to the sum up" sounds a little informal?
