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'careful with ads' - advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need


veragof 2 / 4  
Jul 27, 2012   #1
Hello everybody! I am from Russia and I am preparing for IELTS by myself. I would appreciate your help. Please, point out my serious mistakes. Thanks in advance!

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we do not need. However, others believe that advertisements provide us with information about new goods. This issue is a very controversial and it is still open for debates. Personally, I believe that advertising is not very helpful and brings some mess in human life. I base my opinion on the following points.

First of all, I have to say that we have too much advertising on TV and mass media in nowadays. I overload our mind and attention. We look around and advertising is everywhere. From my viewpoint, it is very annoying. Business companies try to attract our attention to their products and perhaps it really works and most of people are encouraged to buy all of those items. But I think that we do not need so many products for surviving in the world. For example luxuries, I do not believe that we need to buy so many luxury things to be happy and to have full life. Advertising tempts people to buy beautiful jewelries and ones are ready to waste most of their savings for such useless things.

Second of all, I guess young and inexperienced in life people who are so easier influenced by tricks of advertising tend to waste their money for things which they really do not need. When they watch TV that filled with commercials every thirty minutes they are getting appealed to the beautiful image of the product and they are not interested to figure out whether they really need it or not. The immediate impulse encourages desire to obtain the item.

Thirdly, the commercial does not maintain the true information about the product. The main purpose of adverts is to sell as much as possible and it does not care about providing people with the complete information of the goods that could deter potential buyers. In result, we are involved in buying things which might be useless or even harmful.

In conclusion, I want to notice that when we see commercials we have to be careful with our fleeting intention to buy all those things which are advertised there. It is better to learn more information about the product and to think over the real needs. I tend to think that we do not really have to buy so many things which we are encouraged by advertising.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jul 27, 2012   #2
DO NOT copy the topic.

Open the introduction with a motivator. The introduction should include four parts: 1) Motivator: Write an interesting statement. A motivator can be a "quotation", "question", "proverb", "statistic", "description", "short story". etc. 2) Thesis statement : reword the topic. 3) Write your opinion, 4) Blueprint

I base my opinion on the following points.

Do not use this statement. Try to briefly write the reasons why you agree or disagree with the topic. In this way, the reader can find out what issues are going to be discussed in the body. This is what is called "Blueprint".

First of all, I have to say that we have too much advertising on TV and mass media in nowadays. I overload our mind and attention. We look around and advertising is everywhere

What do u want to say? U started with adverting on TV. Then u said u were overloaded with ads, and finally u talked about the fact that advertising is everywhere. This style of writing may confuse the reader. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence. Each topic sentence includes two main parts: Limited subject and precise opinion. U should mention that what subject is going to be argued in the paragraph (limited subject). A precise opinion is an opinion about the limited subject.

Regards
Ahmad


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