TOPIC:- Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Many people say that the death penalty must required to make our lives secure. But, some others argue that in the society death sentence is not necessary to counter the violence. However I am of the opinion that, it is better to forgive the sin, yield a counselling to him/her and give a chance to him/her to prove their change.
Now-a-days, the people are not getting fear by watching the death warrants. The most important reason for criminal activities is metal imbalance. So many people are there who does not balance their life in financial and family problems. By affording counselling, there is a chance to become offender to a normal person. Due to this reason the actual person will change and the others may start doing criminal activities. To avoid this, from the childhood onwards the parents and teachers should teach the children that how to live in the society, what to do for the society and what not to do etc.
For example, in the world, 51% of countries have abolished it, it for crimes committed in exceptional circumstances (such as in time of war) retain by 4% of countries where as 25% of countries permit its use for ordinary crimes, but have not used it for at least 10 years and are believed to have a policy or established practice of not carrying out executions, or it is under a moratorium but 21%of countries maintain the death penalty in both law and practice. And also, death penalty is outlawed in Australia, Netherlands, New Zealand, Germany, France, etc.
Therefore, persuaded by what has been discussed till now as well as compelled by what I have learnt and expressed, I would like to reiterate that due to the capital punishment the crime rate not coming to the end. The punishment without thinking is unfair. Then give a chance to the sinner to change himself. So, death penalty is not the only justice to decrease crime activities in the society.
Hi, Malavika Reddy
metal imbalance : mental imbalance
By affording counselling, there is a chance to becometransform offender in to a normal person (By affording counselling, a normal person might less likely to commit a crime)or may be this isn't what your mentioned. It's confusing. Moreover, some sentences are too long. Especially, paragraph 3, the example support which kind of argument, agree argument or disagree argument ?
I've gone over your essay and I think there are a few things to work on:
- First of all is the structure of the essay. You need to think of at least two reasons to support your side, then in each paragraph, use reasons and examples to explain the main idea. Don't write all the examples in a seperate para.
- Secondly, some of your sentences are not clear enough (especially in the 3rd para). Try to keep them short and easy to understand.
- Don't start a sentence with BUT, SO. Use HOWEVER, THEREFORE instead.
Best
