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Bringing emotion - television has destroyed communication among close people?


momotou007 1 / -  
Jul 30, 2009   #1
Some people assert that television has destroyed communication among friends and family for the reason that watching television may take most of theirs part time so that they do not have time to play with their friends and family outdoors.However, they fail to realize that it will be a good time when the whole family gather to watch program and express theirs own ideas with each other about it .If I were to offer my choise,I would not hesitate a moment to say that I can not favor this opinion.The following writing will clarify some of my points of view.

The first plain truth,I am presenting here ,is that television can increase our knowledge which make us have more topics to exchange with friends and family.According to the survey, 70% of people good at society obtain the most of talking information by accessing program that not only can teach people how to sat up a conversation better ,but also provide some oral skill .In consequence,watching television can help people enhance communicative abilities.

This reason alone,however,can not explain why television is beneficial to our intercourse with friends and family.In some respects,watching television with family and friends make our emotion more intimate and increase the time we stay with them.To support my view,there is an example.My uncle,Tom,is a businessman and seldom have part time to accompany his parents. The only time accompanying them is watching television time of whole family after the dinner and it is this period that provide theirs family with a chance not only to bring up sentiment, but develop the communication.This is to say,watching television can bring up emotion with friends and family.

We can not deny thay watching television also have some demerits.The advantages, however,far outweights its disadvantages.
From what has been discussed above,it would be reasonable to believe that television do not destroy the communication with friends and family.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jul 30, 2009   #2
A few mechanical basics: Punctuation marks in English are appended to the word they follow, not the word they precede. The only exception to this rule are quotation marks, which enclose a sentence, word, or phrase "like this." With the exception of quotation marks, there always must be a space between a punctuation mark and the word that follows it.

I believe that you mean "spare time" when you are saying "part time."
et_350 1 / 3  
Aug 4, 2009   #3
Overall, quite good just little things i noticed.

"According to the survey"

-I think it would sound far more convincing and professional if you used the name of the survey.

Maybe when you use examples to support your view, don't say here is an example to support my view, but say something along the lines of "in situations such as...."

Just a few spelling errors but you should pick them up with spell check or your own proof reading.


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