Kristy, I would give this essay a C because of the lack of proper essay formatting and haphazard discussion presented within the essay. You do not follow the Introduction, Body, Conclusion (IBC) rules of essay writing and you did not really work on properly developing your reasons in an academic manner. The reasons that you present are also very shallow and lack clarity. A sample of a problem statement of yours is as follows:
First of all, it is fast. We can travel to anywhere in few hours.
You can do the same thing by car. You should have instead said "We can travel to another country in a few hours", which is something that cannot be done by car.
Firstly, the cost of the tickets is not cheap, especially travel to other country or other continent. It amounts to hundreds of dollars or even millions.
This is an exaggeration. Who is spending millions to travel these days? It may amount into the thousands or hundreds of thousands, but no person will spend a million in travel tickets. That kind of airplane bill comes from traveling all over the world in a private jet. Even then it may still be an exaggeration. Be truthful with all your statements. Do not say something just for dramatic effect. That ruins the possibility of getting a good essay grade.
In conclusion, there are both pros and cons of traveling by air. People should choose the suitable means and that means suits their standard.
This conclusion needs more work. An effective conclusion will restate your essay prompt, your point of view and summarize the facts that you presented.
I hate to say it Kristy but you need to rewrite the essay in totality if you want to get a better grade on this. Take the essay seriously and do some research and try to present yourself academically. Right now the essay sounds like you just wanted to get it over with so you just wrote anything that came to mind or whatever you heard from others. That does not paint you in a good light as a student.