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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 6)

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I am inclined to oppose constructing a factory in my near community - TOEFL independent essay

2 - Nour, 300 is the maximum word count. You don't have to deliver exactly 300 words in every essay. Just make sure you...

Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
IELTS Task 2 : EMPLOYEE OR EMPLOYER - being an owner of some personal business is worth to consider

7 - At these days, it is generally considered by lots of individuals to be an entrepreneur rather than being an employee for another...

Writing FeedbackMardy17 - Jan 25, 2016 / ilankelo21 - Jan 25, 2016
IELTS TASK 1 - ENERGY WASTED DUE TO THE HEAT LOSS IN TWO-STOREY HOUSE

3 - ... about air circulation which causes energy wasted due to BECAUSE/SINCE/AS the heat loss in THEtwo-storey house. Hi Awe, You...

Writing Feedbackawe_28 - Jan 25, 2016 / Mardy17 - Jan 25, 2016
IELTS TASK 1 - A TECHNOLOGY FOR PRODUCING ELECTRICITY FROM WIND - provided in the diagram

5 - The diagram illustrates a technology for producing electricity from wind and THE POSSIBLE SEVERAL SPOTS where it should be placed to generate...

Writing Feedbackawe_28 - Jan 22, 2016 / ilankelo21 - Jan 25, 2016
Should the development of alternative sources of energy be continued ? Support your view

3 - Thank you very much, Louisa...I really appreciate your comments on my essay. I am glad that the content is fine, what are...

Writing Feedbackdavid2708 - Jan 25, 2016 / david2708 - Jan 25, 2016
The press should report the residents life who have some inspired story, not some celebrities rumors

7 - These days there are too much news of how artists life their days ---------->Nowadays, there many news about artists' daily life...

Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 21, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 25, 2016
IELTS TASK 2 - A Sense of Competition Should be Encouraged to Children

2 - Muhamad, why did you only provide your introduction and your conclusion? How were you able to come up with the beginning and...

Writing Feedbackfijarakbar25 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
IELTS TASK 2: The advantages of having own business outweigh the disadvantages

2 - Siti, you did some pretty good work on this essay. The vocabulary you used shows a higher level of understanding of the...

Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
'build up close relation to others' - The Effect of Electronic Media on Personal Relationship

4 - Sri, your thesis statement and personal opinion have totally changed the discussion that the actual prompt wished you to address. you are...

Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
IELTS TASK1 a wind turbine used to generate electricity

5 - Here is a suggestion to start you essay in diagram process: The diagrams illustrate the way in which electricity can be generated...

Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 25, 2016 / nuni11 - Jan 25, 2016
IELTS TASK 1 : Leaking in and out of air inside a house

2 - ... circulation either it AS IT comes in or comes GOES out of a 2-floor house ... house and influence...

Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
TASK 2 - A discussion about Sense of Competition and Sense of Cooperation

2 - Mochtar, you are short by one paragraph / opinion in this essay. You presented a qualified introduction, then presented an acceptable opposing...

Writing Feedbackichanpants89 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
A good neighbor must be respectful and thoughtful - TOEFL independent essay

3 - [Link / Image / Video / Quote]

Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 24, 2016 / awe_28 - Jan 25, 2016
IELTS TASK 1 - THE COMPARISON OF INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL COMMUNICATION ABILITIES

7 - Hi Awe, nice writing, here I give some advice the green words is the suggestion for the red one in bracket :) ...

Writing Feedbackawe_28 - Jan 21, 2016 / Riiskacha03 - Jan 25, 2016
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Smoking should be illegal.

5 - I hope that in a few years people will understand that smoking has many more bad sides than good. But as I...

Writing Feedbackgenteel gander - Jan 23, 2016 / iceunicorna - Jan 24, 2016
A Comparison of Household Expenditures between 1950 and 2010 - the pie charts

8 - Three other expenditures, health care, education and transportation, saw a less change. less changes....

Writing FeedbackFebri91 - Jan 21, 2016 / iceunicorna - Jan 24, 2016
Small community environment prevents loneliness and social isolation

4 - Le, your opening statement does not function in the manner that it is supposed to within the essay. The opening statement should...

Writing Feedbackbaongoc - Dec 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 24, 2016
Journal on The Ice Master as Bob Bartlett

5 - So, the journal entry that you wrote is very applicable to the requirements and instructions that you were given. However, there were...

Writing FeedbackSamuelsam123 - Jan 23, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 24, 2016
Ielts task 2 essay: the responsibility of rich countries for helping the poorer nations

2 - Long, keep in mind that in the format of an academic essay, the opening paragraph must always include your personal opinion when...

Writing Feedbacktkb1311173 - Jan 24, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 24, 2016
I have always believed that hard work is the key to success - TOEFL independent essay

4 - Thank you :) I will work on these points :)))))...

Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 23, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 24, 2016
The replacement of traditional foods with junk eating from other countries brings a negative impact

6 - It is argued that fast foods from other countries WAS replaced BY traditional foods may IT IS MORE LIKELY...

Writing Feedbacklethaophuong287 - Jan 22, 2016 / rasam11 - Jan 24, 2016
IELTS Writing Task 2 - Why do we need music?

13 - From the Childhood is the phase in which people have accustomed to listen to music. Almost those fell asleep with songs...

Writing FeedbackHidro13 - Dec 24, 2015 / sir99 - Jan 23, 2016
A rule of the same percentage of male and female learners in a school shouldn't apply - it's harmful

7 - Your introduction is flawed in the sense that you do not accurately restate the prompt. You should have given some inclination as...

Writing FeedbackHidro13 - Jan 11, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
A big city is better for children to grow up- TOEFL independent essay

4 - ... life in THE countryside because life in this THE latter is ... That is why, I am inclined to...

Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 23, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
Many people watch television and movies on a daily basis. This can affect their behavior. How?

4 - Thankyou. I will do my best :-)))))))))))...

Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 22, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 23, 2016
The percentage of human impact on plants and animals is seven times as much as some natural events

4 - ... and the treats THREATS to plant life is ARE shown in THE line and ... This IT is important to note...

Writing FeedbackSaputra Putra - Jan 22, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
The number of species extinctions in tropical forests shows an upward trend

5 - ... proportion about OF THE extinctions of species ... Overall, the number of species extinctions in tropical forests shows an upward trend...

Writing Feedbacksharfina - Jan 22, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
The proportion of population in a particular area, totaling a 16 year-period

5 - ... of IN the proportion about OF population in a particular area... habitat destruction has have an enormous impact on wildlife...

Writing Feedbacksharfina - Jan 22, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
Small society was the most favorite place for living but now inhabitants move to the vast cities

5 - Time being changes the people'S habits. Although A small society had CAN become the most... prior times THE PAST, ... the vast...

Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Jan 22, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
In order to work in a productive atmosphere, co-workers must have some specific characteristics.

4 - Thank you vangiespen for your positive feedback :)))))))...

Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 22, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 23, 2016
The well behaved and educated parents are the best teachers for their children. TOEFL independent

5 - Thank you vangiespen I will keep this in mind :)...

Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 21, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 23, 2016
Link of the world: iPhone from birth to death Nowadays, with the development of industry and technol

2 - What exactly is the central topic of this research paper? What are you trying to discuss and present to the public? the...

Writing Feedbackiceunicorna - Jan 23, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
IELTS TASK 1 information about how heat is released and energy is used

3 - According to the data, the place where the wind AIR is blowingCOMING into consists of various forms. ... are the considerable spot...

Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 22, 2016 / annahatef - Jan 23, 2016
IELTS TASK 2: ELECTRONIC MEDIA IS A THREAT TO HUMAN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

3 - In the developed technology era, new media-related inventions THE INVENTION OF NEW MEDIA HAS have helped people to do...

Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Jan 22, 2016 / rasam11 - Jan 22, 2016
The percentage of unemployment rates among women in several countries of the United Kingdom

5 - Overall, it is important to note thatthe decreased female ... The highest number was released by Scottish Scotland in 2014, while the...

Writing FeedbackFauzi17 - Jan 21, 2016 / sharfina - Jan 22, 2016
The level of graduates from 2001 to 2007 who are recruited as regular educators in Ontario; IELTS 1

4 - The graph provides information about the level of graduates [...] while the French-language tutors' rate increased considerably. A breakdown of the proportion...

Writing FeedbackMardy17 - Jan 22, 2016 / sharfina - Jan 22, 2016
One day visit to your country -TOEFL independent essay

8 - ... it seems to me that a foreign visitor, who can only stay for one day, should visit my city because it...

Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 19, 2016 / vangue cloud - Jan 22, 2016
Air Circulation System and Heat Depletion Process in The House

3 - The diagram illustrates the air circulation which ... The ongoing process of how thermal energy loss and energy wasted due to...

Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Jan 22, 2016 / sharfina - Jan 22, 2016
A description of the number of visitor utilizing three main airports in New York City

4 - Hi, Mr Yusak, let me give suggestion to your essay :) ... in New York City during the period FROM1995 to...

Writing Feedbackyus72 - Jan 21, 2016 / desgit33 - Jan 22, 2016
Exercise and absenteeism in two departments of a major company

4 - In my opinion your Opening paragraph was so confusing, let me try to rewrite your first paragraph. A breakdown of the...

Writing Feedbacksharfina - Jan 21, 2016 / Bayuwibowo - Jan 22, 2016
IELTS TASK 2: Doctors brings a lot of merits for human being - more than some investors

3 - ... was not too essential to environment if compared by COMPARED TO human THOSE who was help the citizen...

Writing Feedbackandika06 - Jan 8, 2016 / sir99 - Jan 22, 2016
The average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010

4 - ... family expense in A region over A 12 month in period IN THE YEARS COVERING 1950 and from TO 2010...

Writing Feedbackyus72 - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 22, 2016
Different household spending during 60 years

5 - Hadi, this is thorough explanation of the information you were provided with. There were only insignificant grammatical changes to be made in...

Writing FeedbackBunglon11 - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 22, 2016
Women unemployment percentage in four countries of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014 (IELTS 1)

6 - ... women who ARE joblessness in particular CERTAIN countries of THE UK... is presented in THE bar chart. At first glance,...

Writing FeedbackNiam01 - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 22, 2016
The society should provide appreciation for doctors although also inventors are very important

4 - ... human's life since it is always becomes one of people's rights(...)some professions such as doctors has been assumed have...

Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 8, 2016 / nuni11 - Jan 22, 2016
It is not too hard and time-consuming to have a better pattern of a healthy lifestyle. IELTS TASK 2

4 - Hi riska let me give another form of introduction. Perhaps it can be considerable way. Some people reckon that It is...

Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 21, 2016 / ilankelo21 - Jan 22, 2016
Travelers using three major airports in New York City (writing task 1)

4 - A breakdown of the number of touristS who visitED to New York City through three particular airports over a half decade, from...

Writing FeedbackNiam01 - Jan 21, 2016 / aflah15 - Jan 22, 2016
Female Unemployment Rates In Each Country Of The United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014

3 - Continue to practice developing your English vocabulary. You have shown a moderately advanced vocabulary here but your discussion devices are very limited....

Writing Feedbackyus72 - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 22, 2016
A Breakdown of Household Consumption

3 - ... is ARE presented in THE pie charts. ... homely activity HOME EXPENSES were housing and food on the IN different...

Writing Feedbackdesgit33 - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 22, 2016
Housing, food, health care, education, transportation and other needs in a country

3 - Good work on presenting the facts of the pie charts. Remember, you have to double check the kind of chart being used...

Writing FeedbackFauzi17 - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 21, 2016
IELTS 2: Some people believe that to effort the healthy lifestyle in advanced era is extremely hard

3 - Dini, you need to make sure that you always present the correct paragraph format to the reader. This means, that your introduction,...

Writing Feedbackpertiwi02 - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 21, 2016
Cinema attendance between 1990 and 2010 in the United Kingdom

3 - ... is SHOWN in THE line chart... measured in BY percentage. As per THE chart... This IT is important to notice...

Writing FeedbackSaputra Putra - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 21, 2016
The level of exercise and absenteeism in a giant company in 2012 - bar and table chart

2 - Pay attention to your plural and singular word usage. Make use of connector words whenever necessary. Your essay would be much better...

Writing FeedbackSaputra Putra - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 21, 2016
The number of travellers visited New York City through three main US airports

3 - There are definite spelling problems in your essay. Always pay attention to the red line / spelling error indicator when writing your...

Writing FeedbackFauzi17 - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 21, 2016
A description of the percentage of local spending by a houshold in 1950 and sixty years later

2 - hi niam01, i just give some suggestions for you. Overall, it is evident that, in 1950, housing saw just over seven...

Writing FeedbackNiam01 - Jan 21, 2016 / Fauzi17 - Jan 21, 2016
The pie chart compares the amount of average consumption of family in one country from 1950 to 2010.

6 - ... average consumption of family in one A country from 1950 to 2010 compared by , IS MEASURED IN percentage. Overall, it...

Writing FeedbackSyahrul08 - Jan 21, 2016 / Bunglon11 - Jan 21, 2016
A breakdown of the average expenditures for household in six decades (from 195- to 2010)

4 - ... change of the average expenditures expended in FOR household. While two kinds of expenditures became increased sharply, the others ... ...

Writing Feedbacksir99 - Jan 21, 2016 / Niam01 - Jan 21, 2016
IELTS TASK 1 - THE PROPORTION OF SEVERAL ISSUE FACED BY PEOPLE GOING ABROAD

4 - it was the lowest percentages....

Writing Feedbackandika06 - Jan 21, 2016 / Syahrul08 - Jan 21, 2016
Proportion of World Expense, Amount of The world Population and Utilisation of Sources

5 - Let me correct your essay You have to more focus to type The bar charts bellow illustrate proportion of world...

Writing Feedbackyus72 - Jan 19, 2016 / Bunglon11 - Jan 21, 2016
IELTS TASK 2 : IS ENTERTAINER'S-LIFE-RELATED INFORMATION MEANINGFUL FOR US?

2 - Annisa, your introductory paragraph is unclear. You have not successfully restated the prompt thesis and your outline of the discussion doesn't really...

Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 21, 2016
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