|Home / Writing Feedback [16,505] - page 6 of 276|
|The increase of population causes humanity problem
3 - Please check your conclusion below: To sum up, the cause of this issue can be handled if the government gives education...
Writing Feedbacktiraatira11 - Mar 29, 2016 / fardan10 - Apr 5, 2016
|The cycle's life of salmon which is species of large fish
2 - Hello...Nida, I really salut to your essay because it is simple and easy to understand from the beginning to the end, but...
Writing Feedbacknida26 - Apr 4, 2016 / ANSOR99 - Apr 5, 2016
|Writing IELTS 1: Cinema attendance pattern which occured amidst the four of age groups in the UK
3 - Hi Fudla, your essay is actually clear and very informative. I like the way you push your effort to write some advanced...
Writing FeedbackHadiyati Fudla - Apr 4, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Apr 4, 2016
|China has the greatest number of population in the world, while United States is the richest country
2 - What app bro LaPolo, your essay is good, i have suggestions to your introduction paragraph. you could use this pattern : ...
Writing FeedbackLaPolo11 - Apr 4, 2016 / wahyu - Apr 4, 2016
|The proper age that children should be started to go to school
6 - All in all, I am likely to believe that the proper age children ... give formal educationtoo early in their very first...
Writing FeedbackRAY93 - Apr 1, 2016 / rahmat248 - Apr 4, 2016
|IELTS TASK 1: Cinema visitors description in the Great Britain in 2 decades
4 - Hi Fardan! excellent writing! Let me try to give some inputs: 1. The presented bar chart highlights information about [...] most...
Writing Feedbackichanpants89 - Apr 4, 2016 / Hadiyati Fudla - Apr 4, 2016
|IELTS TASK 1 - Global population percentages and distribution of wealth by region.
2 - The bar chart illustrates about waiting people life and ... this is unclear and tend to be confusing It can undeniable...
Writing Feedbackdina79 - Apr 4, 2016 / LaPolo11 - Apr 4, 2016
|The cycle of the salmon in diverse habitats and stages
3 - Hi Siti, I would like to share additional insights to your essay. - lifecycle life of the salmon. - ...
Writing Feedbacktiraatira11 - Apr 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Apr 4, 2016
|The Criminals Lead People To Stay At Home...___...IELTS Task 2
3 - In this modern era, many kinds of crime have occured occurred in the society specifically robbering or stealing in the street or...
Writing FeedbackANSOR99 - Apr 4, 2016 / LaPolo11 - Apr 4, 2016
|IELTS 1: the wealth in a country versus population proportions in various regions of the world
3 - - The presented bar chart presented highlights - ofinformation - and countedis measured in percentages. - wealth in...
Writing Feedbackfardan10 - Apr 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Apr 4, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2 e-book as an additional format and it can not replace the presence of a printed book
3 - Hello Diandin, I'm very pleasant to read your essay. My suggestion is in conclusion. I hope it is helpful to improve your...
Writing FeedbackDiandin16 - Apr 4, 2016 / Anaguna - Apr 4, 2016
|The best alernative to prevent crime - 'apply a stringent penalties'
3 - Hello Hadiyati,..I think that your essay is good, but there are some points that i should tell you here to improve your...
Writing FeedbackHadiyati Fudla - Apr 4, 2016 / ANSOR99 - Apr 4, 2016
|The statistics data about cinema visitors based on different age groups in the United Kingdom
4 - Hi Bastian! It is very pleasant to read your writing. You make it in nice order. Let me try to give some...
Writing Feedbackbastian20 - Apr 4, 2016 / Hadiyati Fudla - Apr 4, 2016
|The growth of salmon begin when eggs from adult salmon laid out at small stones under the reeds
3 - Hi friend,...Let me to give some alternative ways and corrections to make your essay to be better. The diagram gives information...
Writing FeedbackTrisulastri - Apr 4, 2016 / ANSOR99 - Apr 4, 2016
|To solve the fear of crime problem. What official has done is not sufficient to restrict it.
2 - hi bastian your example of Ted Talk is so great, I should write it down and remember it right now, haha....
Writing Feedbackbastian20 - Apr 4, 2016 / suxiaojing - Apr 4, 2016
|Salmon put their eggs in the upper river which has slow moving currents - facts from this fish life
2 - Hi Nur kindly find some help from my side for your analysis. - a big fish recognised as salmon lifelives...
Writing Feedbacknurannisaputry92 - Apr 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Apr 4, 2016
|The life cycle of salmon marine creature - big size of fish in river and in ocean habitat
2 - - The diagrams inform the life cycle of a salmon marine creature as big size of fish. ( this is not...
Writing FeedbackRAY93 - Apr 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Apr 4, 2016
|Can we get more knowledge about the whole world only by television broadcasts or movies?
8 - Hello, Masfufah...Interestingly, i really appreciate your writing because the plot is really clear to flow. but here i just want to complete...
Writing FeedbackMasfufah - Apr 3, 2016 / ANSOR99 - Apr 4, 2016
|After 4 years in Lower River, salmons fry will grow into smolts which have size roughly 12-15 cm
2 - - becoming anadult can be - stepsstages ( steps - a direction to follow / stage - life cycle )...
Writing FeedbackYusri31 - Apr 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Apr 4, 2016
|CHARTS the age and gender of single-occupant households as well as how many bedrooms in their houses
2 - - how manythe number of bedrooms - in theirthe houses in England - averagely according to the bar charton...
Writing Feedbackcl50803 - Apr 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Apr 4, 2016
|This species originally hatch in fresh water, then live in the sea when it grows. The life of salmon
2 - Hi Angga, first reminder, right off the bat, don't forget your linking verbs. - of a salmon, - one...
Writing Feedbackangga93 - Apr 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Apr 4, 2016
|Salmon Life Cycle. It lives in upper-river which move slowly as an egg for 5 until 6 months.
2 - Yonathan, I like the way that you developed this report summary. You were very informative and clear in depicting all the information...
Writing Feedbackyonathan66 - Apr 4, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Apr 4, 2016
|Does Charging Tourist For Admission Has More Merits Than Demerits?
4 - Hello Bro Yonathan. You wrote this task pretty good. This because you can explain your idea well-integrated. You utilize one idea brainstorming...
Writing Feedbackyonathan66 - Apr 4, 2016 / bastian20 - Apr 4, 2016
|Taks 1 : the employees according to their gender in the Great Britain
3 - Lapolo, you have a problem in your second body paragraph. It was too short and contained 'shop listings'. You are not supposed...
Writing FeedbackLaPolo11 - Apr 3, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Apr 4, 2016
|From the chart: Native Australia experienced the largest number entering Movie Theater at 70%
2 - Hi Desty, kindly find a few corrections below. - places that were visited - amongst theatre, - Native Australians experienced...
Writing FeedbackDesty22 - Apr 3, 2016 / justivy03 - Apr 4, 2016
|Many citizens should pay admission to visit museum. Money is spent eg. for rebuilding the facility.
4 - To sum up, by charging the museums, there are many steads that people get rather than loss. I propose that officer and...
Writing Feedbacknurannisaputry92 - Apr 4, 2016 / rahmat248 - Apr 4, 2016
|The advantages gain by museums when charging visitors for admission
3 - By this important role of museums on society and an increasing number of visiting, several many museums then settle on entrance...
Writing FeedbackRAY93 - Apr 4, 2016 / Wiwik Mujahidin - Apr 4, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2: Whether crime prevention should be done or not.
3 - It causes many folk that/which are too frightened to leave However, concerning to other individuals who ...===== you have mentioned in...
Writing Feedbackichanpants89 - Apr 4, 2016 / La Baso - Apr 4, 2016
|A fixed punishment delivers some benefits for human being - IELTS TASK 2.
3 - hiii There are some benefits and a drawback of having a fixed penalty. , however you mentioned demerit first then some...
Writing Feedbacknelarizka79 - Apr 3, 2016 / La Baso - Apr 4, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2: The rich and poor nations have the gap after that what the cause and solution the case
6 - Recent day,The most recently yearsthe high problem in several country many coutries is the disproportion poor people and the rich ... ...
Writing Feedbackdina79 - Apr 3, 2016 / Wiwik Mujahidin - Apr 4, 2016
|The consideration of entrance fee in some museums
2 - Please check your phrase: Ultimately, the collected money from admission charge, (do not use comma since it one unity idea) uses can...
Writing Feedbacktiraatira11 - Apr 4, 2016 / fardan10 - Apr 4, 2016
|Both - living in the same or different place in the lifetime have own positive and negative sides.
8 - dear everyone. thank you :)...
Writing FeedbackLa Baso - Mar 31, 2016 / La Baso - Apr 4, 2016
|Museums are supposed to be affordable to all people
2 - , intrinsically the disadvantages of charging ... the words all in all are good words, nonetheless, these words are better for...
Writing FeedbackYusri31 - Apr 4, 2016 / LaPolo11 - Apr 4, 2016
|Charging people for admission to the museums; original writing, 40 minutes
3 - Therefore, it needs support from others to maintain (preserve) its function as educational tool. I have read your writing, it is...
Writing Feedbackangga93 - Apr 4, 2016 / fardan10 - Apr 4, 2016
|Railway passengers in the U.K. In 1950, the National train stood at top rank with 1,000 users
2 - HI, here my correction for your writing: A break down of the passengers in the three kinds of railway systems (Article...
Writing Feedbackfardan10 - Apr 4, 2016 / tiraatira11 - Apr 4, 2016
|Increasing a large number of flight is widely known in whole world. What is the effect of this?
5 - Hi, this is my correction for your writing. Paragraph 1 Increasing a large number of flight ---> THE CONTINUE RISE...
Writing Feedbacklily89 - Apr 3, 2016 / tiraatira11 - Apr 4, 2016
|IELTS Task 2 Government should introduce new technologies or offer free education to improve life
3 - In my view, the first body paragraph lack of coherence. The task is about technology introduction to improve people's quality of life,...
Writing FeedbackElvis_S - Apr 4, 2016 / angga93 - Apr 4, 2016
|Writing Task 2: In order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing
3 - Hello Masfufah I will try to give you some suggestions 1, INTRODUCTION PART Note : Please check the question...
Writing FeedbackMasfufah - Apr 3, 2016 / Yusri31 - Apr 4, 2016
|Tourism can cause some problems in socio-culture due to its bad influence.
3 - Hello Adiclara I will try to give to you some suggestions to improve your writing 1. INTRODUCTION PART Tourism...
Writing Feedbackadeclara - Apr 3, 2016 / Yusri31 - Apr 4, 2016
|The pie chart presented the plus points and problems the most general categories of Fairmont Islands
3 - Hai Desty, Here is my suggestion to your introduction. Hope it will helps you :) The pie chart (there are two...
Writing FeedbackDesty22 - Apr 3, 2016 / Trisulastri - Apr 4, 2016
|Helping the young generation be ready to face the globalization era is the task of education sector.
3 - Hi, Nelarizka. here my comments. check it, i may wrong. keep writing It is important for the students to focus on...
Writing Feedbacknelarizka79 - Apr 3, 2016 / RAY93 - Apr 4, 2016
|The primary commodities import will make small local business broke. Higher global trade - pros/cons
5 - This is because people are keen on to choose choosing commodities from another countries which those are better and cheaper than local...
Writing FeedbackKimbong93 - Apr 3, 2016 / nurannisaputry92 - Apr 4, 2016
|IELTS writing Task 2 : The media in people's lives and politicians
2 - Hello lily89 I rewrote some sentences/applied corrections so that the text sounds better (stylistically): almost society. almost every society ...
Writing Feedbacklily89 - Apr 3, 2016 / Wolf Larsen - Apr 4, 2016
|Children... May they work at certain age or no? "IELTS 2"
3 - Teenagers are getting in certain types of paid [...] must have many expertise to face the future. These days, young generation...
Writing FeedbackKimbong93 - Apr 3, 2016 / nurannisaputry92 - Apr 4, 2016
|IELTS 2 : Rich vs Poor Nations - income achievement gap has been growing for at least fifty years
2 - The heterogeneous HETEROGENITY(heterogenous is adjective, only noun can be attributed by article THE) in different social-economy family (alternative phrase: Economic and social...
Writing Feedbacklily89 - Apr 3, 2016 / fardan10 - Apr 4, 2016
|Issue price of stuff about the which are relatively inexpensive
4 - Hi Mr Rahmat. I have some suggestion for you. I hope it can helps you. 2nd Paragraph Because your agreement...
Writing Feedbackrahmat248 - Apr 1, 2016 / yonathan66 - Apr 4, 2016
|Some people argue that those who live in apartment tower is far from social life; IELTS
3 - Hi, Adeclara. here my comments which i focused on in your body paragraph. keep writing The majority of people [s]have...
Writing Feedbackadeclara - Apr 3, 2016 / RAY93 - Apr 3, 2016
|To learn about other countries.. By watching television or by visiting directly??? "IELTS WR TASK 2"
4 - Several humans contend that people i didn't get it??? it should be "some societies argue that individuals" can understand completely about different...
Writing FeedbackKimbong93 - Apr 3, 2016 / nurannisaputry92 - Apr 3, 2016
|It is clear for me that the increasing percentage of overweight among children is parents' mistakes
3 - Hi Miss Nela. I have read your essay, and i think your essay is good. so let me give you alternative for...
Writing Feedbacknelarizka79 - Apr 3, 2016 / yonathan66 - Apr 3, 2016
|Children in some kinds of paid work - this is one of the controversial issues. IELTS WRITING TASK 2
5 - One of debatable issues that some nations face is getting involved children in some kinds of paid work. it is undeniable,...
Writing FeedbackLa Baso - Apr 3, 2016 / nurannisaputry92 - Apr 3, 2016
|In the true happines the emotions and love is involved, not money.
4 - First of all, people do not need to be worried about their future life due to having enough amount of money especially...
Writing FeedbackLa Baso - Apr 3, 2016 / nurannisaputry92 - Apr 3, 2016
|Task 1 : mobile phone manufacture for two consecutive years (2005 and 2006)
3 - Hi, Mr, Lapolo. I suggest you to attach the picture of the question so then the reader will not confuse to give...
Writing FeedbackLaPolo11 - Apr 3, 2016 / yonathan66 - Apr 3, 2016
|Almost a half of the Fairmont Island disbenefits come from high cost living
2 - It's a quite good but you need to give a taste use the adjectives ,connectors such first and foremost, generally when you...
Writing FeedbackLita27 - Apr 3, 2016 / Sawsana - Apr 3, 2016
|The general merits and demerits of visiting Fairmont Island; expensive living cost was complained
2 - Dear , you discussed it generally you have to be specific And you forgot to complete the introduction of...
Writing Feedbacknelarizka79 - Apr 3, 2016 / Sawsana - Apr 3, 2016
|IELTS TASK I: cell-pone market share - upward trend in Nokia, Motorola, and Sony Ericsson.
2 - the topic says: selecting and reporting the main features. so except for you analysis to which sell phone brand's percentage is going...
Writing Feedbackfardan10 - Apr 3, 2016 / xutong - Apr 3, 2016
|Early education boosts creativity, although it can bring detrimental effect on mentality development
4 - As it is commonly understood, Some communities in some territorial suggest (...) years old due to enhance the development of brain while...
Writing Feedbacknurannisaputry92 - Apr 1, 2016 / nelarizka79 - Apr 3, 2016
|There are many advantages if state cover whole cost of education and health systems for everyone
2 - Dear Desty, your essay is inappropriate enough. Yet, let me give you some suggestions, I hope they are overly helpful for you: ...
Writing FeedbackDesty22 - Apr 3, 2016 / lily89 - Apr 3, 2016
|Tourism can give bad impacts for local culture and environment. There are several ways to reduce it.
4 - Tourism is know to affect the preservation of local culture and ... For instance, in INDONESIA, teenagers are influenced by western culture...
Writing Feedbackrahmat248 - Apr 1, 2016 / nelarizka79 - Apr 3, 2016
|The percentage of people attending several public areas in Australia
2 - Pardon me, it is my suggestion paraphrase in the introduction, I hope this suggestion can help you for the best result in...
Writing FeedbackLita27 - Apr 3, 2016 / dina79 - Apr 3, 2016
|Punishment is given to someone who breaks the rule; fixed punishment for all kinds of crimes?
3 - ... this is how the country makes conducive conditions the conditions conducive. Then some people believe that having ... ... the background...
Writing FeedbackDesty22 - Apr 3, 2016 / adeclara - Apr 3, 2016
|Home / Writing Feedback|