Hi, in general you wrote a nice essay. I have some suggestions that will find them below:
The table compares the consumption
percentages of three different items
among five different European
The statistics are divided into three groups based on item types (this sentence was good, but based on what I wrote through last sentence I deleted it. What you wrote was fine. It is just a suggestion)
. NOTE: At the end of the introduction you should right a general trend for data)
According to the figures, the greatest expense rose in food, drinks and tobacco. For instance (In IELTS writing task one you better to use stronger transitions. In this case you could say "To clarify". "For instance" is also OK, but when you use this phrase it means that you just want to talk about a part of the data and ignore others, while you should compare all the data in this task)
and Irish people
had considerable proportions of their disposable incomes spent on these goods, namely 32.14% and 28.91%, respectively
. By contrast, the amount of money put forward to purchase leisure and educational products was only a tiny fraction of all sorts, ranging between 2-4%- Once again (this phrase is not that academic, it is better to avoid using it)
, Turkey hold the highest spending (4.35% of total budget).
In terms of expenditure on clothing and footwear (be careful about spelling)
, Italians appeared to get more enjoyment buying fashion items than the rest, with 9% of expense incurred in those goods (it would be better to use numbers for comparing data. For example "The table is also indicative of the fact that the consumption of fashion items in Italy (i.e. 9%) was about x% greater than that in other studied countries)"
To sum up, the table shows that there was some significant discrepancy between spending habits of people in five countries for various lifestyle needs.