International sporting events are a good chance -- I think you wanted to write "chance", as "change" does not fits the sentence -- to create a multinational community of fans having the same passion. It will help people around the world understand each other better, since international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
ngcanh: An international sporting event is normally held in a country with huge interest from fans all over the world I didn't get what you meant. It comes like the country acquires interest from fans, not the event. For the time of occasions, people regardless of nationality, origin and religion will live together
People can understand more about a country. -- this is your topic sentence, so put it in the beginning of the para. -- It is (what?) useful to ease tensions between nations--this is reiteration; you ought to paraphrase it in order to avoid copying the topic every time. Btw, two part of the sentence does not have relation to each other, so it's not advisable to put them together in one sentence. May be this is because they provide two different ideas, each of which can serve as a distinct topic sentence.
For example during FIFA World Cup 2010, the relations between North Korea and South Korea is dangerous for were aggravated due to the warship sinking. The world suspected North Korea of the aggressive action. However, due to this event Despite apprehension, North Korea showed demonstrated a friendship and enthuasism. It is a rare occasion when people can learn about this country. It really helps to alleviate the tension.
When they garther together to encourage their team, they will show their patriotic emotions. Moreover, all fans know that a sport event will attract the attention of whole the world and a lot of public media.
ngcanh: In Olympic Beijing 2008, Chinese tried their best to bring the world a spectacular image about their country. First of all, foreigners came here always received the support of friendly volunteers who were young students. They were welcomed by each Chinese with hospitality. beauty in each cities. Everythings was created by patriotic emotions of Chinese people who wanted to bring image of beautiful China to the world. this part deviates from the topic sentence.
In conclusion, International sporting events will draw the international concern. They will make the world more peaceful by easing internation tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
|