Hey, i'm in the home straight of my ielts test! Here is an essay about the education of children and the role of the mother nowadays made in 40 min. Thanks per advance for ur help :-)
proposal:
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
answer:
Women have always had a crucial role in the education of their child. However, over the decades, they ran out of time to rise them because of the moving societies whose gave them the same right to work as men do. Today, delinquency is higher than never. Is the lack of mother's time responsible of it ? I strongly believe that their is no correlation between these two fact.
Firstly, busy women throughout their work provide households a more balanced life, based on the equality between the father and the mother. Thus, the family and its members theirself tend to be affected positively. Moreover as a matter of fact, the childhood's delinquency is more frequent in disordered families, whom experienced divorced, or unemployed. Nowadays, autonomous education became important, with less time available from parents for their children, this is normality. For exemple, children are more likely socialy stimulized going to the nurse and playing with the others children there, than staying at home with their mother as sole social contact.
Secondly, mothers are not the only pillar of their children's education. Amoung others, school, society and social statut, also affect a child behavior. Additionaly, both father and mother are required to rise a child. For instance, a hard worker's father will provoke a traumatism for the child who will be lack of the fatherhood's picture.
Finnaly, nothing is more important than a balanced family for a child, and our modern times have proved us that equality between a father a mother would provide better education for our child than a housewive.
eddies [Contributor]
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476 I like this writing. Here are some ideas to share
For: a career woman is mostly blamed for current condition when
level of juvenile delinquency is increasing.
Against: Environment, family, and technology are also determined a lot in forming the
characteristics of young generation.
social statut
Social rank
rise a child
Raise a Child
autonomous education became important, with less time available from parents for their children, this is normality
Fused sentence. How to correct it? Visit this link: grammartips.homestead.com/fusedsentence.html
Well I attended my IELTS test on saturday. The first task was a line chart representing the number of women in a typical EU's country, and a pie chart representing the reasons of their guiltiness.
The second one was a very boring subject: children take sports very seriously, and don't know how to have fun through sports anymore. To what extend I disagree or not. My big mistakes was my hook I think. I said something like "Nowadays competition is present everywhere and even in children sports which should provide fun only". Which is not really linked to the subject.
I'll see... I'll have my mark in 11 days now !
Thanks to all those who helped me during my training !
Love.
