Again, thank you for giving me feedback to my writing submission.
It will be good if we can help each other to improve our writing skill.
Here is some of my suggestions.
Some people prefer to live in a big city, while others tend to live in a country. The life in a small town may benefit to people's health for less stress and pollution. Nevertheless, there are many advantages for people to live in the city, such as more facilities, more job opportunities and higher quality of education. For my inclination, I prefer to live in a big city.
Firstly, there are more facilities available in the city, such as convenient public transportation. We can take subway to almost anywhere within only several minutes. However, there may not be such convenient subway in the country, so we have to take a bus, which is much slower than the subway does.
Secondly, big cities provide abundant job opportunities. Numerous people create various needs and thus many jobs. For example, restaurants would hire more employees to serve their customers. More household machines in need of repair require more engineers for maintenance. In contrast, population in the country is much less than that in the city, as do employments.
Lastly, big cities lend more chances for high quality of education. Well-educated people should know something about everything and everything about something. There are various resources and information readily available in the big city. The residents there can easily acquire books, shows and movies in different fields. On the other hand, those resources might be difficult to obtain for inhabitants in the country.
I modify your fourth paragraph based on your education idea.
Lastly, a big city is a center of education. There are a number of prestigious schools and universities. For example, bla bla bla (name of school). Moreover, there are various fields of education at these repetitive universities which do not provide at the universities in a small town. For instance, aviation, bla, bla.
In sum, I incline to live in the city for those benefits discussed above. Big cities provide more facilities as well as more chances for employments and education. Although there are less polluted environments and stressful lifestyle in the country, these advantages cannot outweigh the attractions for me to choose a big city as a living place. After all, people are people and we all have our own propensity. Habitation is one of them.
To start on paragraph 2, 3, 4 (body of the essay), you can use first, second, third or firstly, secondly, thirdly. It should be all the same function word.